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I am such a wimp

June 30th, 2005, 05:38 PM
I admit it. I am a wimp. I am so frigging peeved off right now at how stupid I am.

I was "evaluated" at work today about my "performance" the last two weeks. Fine. But they basically told me I couldn't do the job. WELL...they didn't even tell me what job I was going to do so how was I to know what I should be doing!!!

I admit...I didn't ask many questions and that is probably the key problem. I wasn't sure what we are/aren't allowed to do etc (can't go into details) but basically I am not assertive or agressive enough.

I was under the impression that the person I was shadowing was what I was going to do, so I was trying to convince them I could do the job. I figured they were going to fire me. So...after a bit they say they decided to put me somewhere else in the company doing computer searches and such, and they would wait and see about training me in the other area where they originally wanted me.

What confuses the heck out of me is that last week he had asked me what I had seen/done and what I wanted to do and I TOLD him I was interested more in the computer stuff, but I would do anything to do this type of job (private investigator) and he said that that wasn't really an option but they wanted me to do other stuff, like meeting with people etc. I am WAY more suited to computer searches and tech stuff then what they wanted me to do.

In truth I am happy about it yet still angry at how much of a wimp I am. I don't take critism well (stupid social anxiety) so all their comments (which to me sounded horrible and insulted but were probably just constructive) will be eating away at my brain for weeks if not longer, waning away at my confidence.

again...just needed to vent. Lots of need to vent theses days. At least I may not need a new car that soon. But I also won't get as many hours or work and could be verging on homeless....

June 30th, 2005, 10:43 PM
Ah, don't beat yourself up. You can't expect to know what they want after a couple of weeks, and had you known, would you have acted differently? When you have the right job, you will be assertive. :)

July 2nd, 2005, 11:46 AM
I admit...I didn't ask many questions and that is probably the key problem. I wasn't sure what we are/aren't allowed to do etc (can't go into details) but basically I am not assertive or agressive enough.

Raingirl I have the same problem. My supervisor at my old job was on my case so much and so nasty I actually would feel sick before I went to work. Some mornings I would even throw up.

I got spoken to about not doing my job right and I need to ask more questions if I wasn't sure about something. So then I made a point to really focus and do everything right. Two months later after I had finished filing all of the client statements about 2000 statements, not something my superior wanted to do I am sure. They called me into the office and said they were letting me go because now I was asking to many questions. It was also the same time that I applied for another part-time job which they new about, they fired me on the same day. Not sure if it was coincedence or they just didn't like me. I was pretty depressed for a while and even still upset about but I am happy to be out of the enviornment.

My new job at the call centre was horrible the first day. I had customers saying you need better training, everycall they would ask to speak to supervisor. We all got what is called a Q&A where the call is monitored. If you don't follow the call flow exactly you get zero. Most everyone got zeros including myself but we all just took it as a learning experience. The next one I got ninety. Except they did tell me that I was timid on the phone.

So don't beat yourself up any job is hard when you first start it. You will find aspects of it that you are really good two weeks isn't enough time to be good at any job.

July 2nd, 2005, 05:53 PM
thanks guys. I just needed to vent. It was sorta like a reality check for me though. Made me realise a lot about my life. I have been running away from everything! When things get hard, I just quit. It's really sucky... I have been so depressed all weekend. I can't sleep or eat. I just feel nauseous. this is taking me back to when I almost dropped out of school in 3rd year university. I was living with 3 girls and one was making my life a living hell because she was so in my face all the time. I had to seek professional help at that time. Maybe I should consider that again...