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Self help class for men! (Tongue in cheek)

Cactus Flower
June 16th, 2005, 01:07 PM
NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!!!
ALL ARE WELCOME
OPEN TO MEN ONLY

Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants.
Sign up early and get a discount on registration.
The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include:

DAY ONE-

HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
Step by step guide with slide presentation

TOILET ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Roundtable discussion

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
Practicing with hamper (Pictures and graphics)

DISHES & SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BYTHEMSELVES?
Debate among a panel of experts.

LOSS OF VIRILITY
Losing the remote control to your significant other - Help line and support groups.

LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming - Open forum


DAY TWO-

EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
Group discussion and role play

HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH
PowerPoint presentation

REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real life testimonial from the one man who did

IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Driving simulation

LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER
Online class and role playing

HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques

REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE
Bring your calendar or PDA to class

GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME
Individual counselors available




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

angie79
June 16th, 2005, 01:15 PM
lol thats soooooo needed in my house....

I was told by the dr. to rest (hip problem) not to stand or walk as much as possible, my spoiled man hasn't helped one bit!!! so still doing the laundry and food prep. one day making dinner he asked me if he could help cause i was in pain i said you make dinner "i don't know how" i blame his mom....

another one to add

How to pay bills and budget...

lilith_rizel
June 16th, 2005, 01:25 PM
Guess I lucked out with hubby, he doen't do much of that stuff.....

Rita
June 16th, 2005, 01:29 PM
Guess I lucked out too ... with my broken toe hubby has been great!!! Makes me sit and rest while he does cooking, laundry, anything that needs to be done .... oh yes, and gets me my wine too ;)

Cactus Flower
June 16th, 2005, 01:39 PM
For those of you who are lucky enough to not have any of these issues with your husband.....I say take your mother in law out to lunch immediately, and thank her!

(Thank hubby too, of course).

Writing4Fun
June 16th, 2005, 01:39 PM
Can we add a couple of sessions?

Laundry Folding - Why You Have Opposable Thumbs.
Seriously. Is it a genetic disorder? A deficiency in the X chromosome? Why can't men fold anything more complicated than a towel (and even that looks like crap when they're done)?!

Where Does All Your Money Go?
Look in the garage!

And if we could dedicate an entire day to the "Learning How To Find Things" chapter, I'd be a happy camper indeed! Hon, I don't know why this is a difficult concept for you, but I don't spend the day rearranging the kitchen cupboards. The dishes are in the same place they were the last 15 times I showed you.

(sorry :o )

Writing4Fun
June 16th, 2005, 01:40 PM
For those of you who are lucky enough to not have any of these issues with your husband.....I say take your mother in law out to lunch immediately, and thank her!
Lunch?! I think the woman deserves a freakin' award gala and week-end retreat!! :highfive: :D

Cactus Flower
June 16th, 2005, 01:42 PM
LOL W4F! Loved your additional sessions, too!

lilith_rizel
June 16th, 2005, 01:42 PM
he helps with that too..... but we are also talking about a guy who lived on his own at 17, so he had to learn how to do all that stuff..... :D

Prin
June 16th, 2005, 10:19 PM
After 4 years, I DID IT, not his mom. He couldn't cook, couldn't CLEAN, couldn't SWEEP!! Now, he does everything, including giving me the remote...

We read something once, a man to woman dictionary excerpt. One that stuck was:

What men say: "Honey, where are my keys?"
Translation: "Honey, I'm too lazy to look for my keys. Can you look for me?"

We use that all the time. Instead of asking, we just directly say, "Do you know where this is? I'm too lazy to look for it."

Oh, I just reread them, and I do most of them (as in I need the courses)-- I empty ice cube trays, the toilet paper roll, the laundry...

jjgeonerd
June 16th, 2005, 10:30 PM
[QUOTE=Cactus Flower]

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR

QUOTE]

There's a difference? :confused: :confused: :confused:

Jackie467
June 16th, 2005, 10:34 PM
Think I could sign Tomas up for that? I'll pay to fly him to wherever it is :D . lol. Folding laundry is definatly way beyond his comprehension and my least fav chore. I'd rather clean the toilet!

Schwinn
June 17th, 2005, 09:53 AM
I'd like to exempt myself from some, if I may.

DAY ONE-

HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS--We have a cube maker for this exact reason


TOILET ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?--this may be why I have my own bathroom


DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR--What is this "hamper" thing you speak of?


DISHES & SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BYTHEMSELVES?--we're supposed to use silverware?? I thought that was just for company!

LOSS OF VIRILITY--separate TVs.

LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming - Open forum--we're trying to scare them out from thier hiding spot, makes it easier to find


DAY TWO-

EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?--drink beer. Problem solved.

HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH--she'll wonder what I did wrong.

REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST--real men do get lost


IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?--We just avoid this.


LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER--Oh, I know this one!! My mother doesn't get upset when I accuse her of mothering me!


HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION--Okay, I may need help here.


REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE--define "important"

GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME--do they have remedial help for this one?

Rita
June 17th, 2005, 10:00 AM
LMAO Too funny Schwinn :crazy:

Dogastrophe
June 17th, 2005, 10:33 AM
HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION--Okay, I may need help here.


I can help you with this one. My grandfather always told me that whenever he was forced into a mall trip, he would park at the doors nearest the bookstore / magazine stand. Immediately upon entering he would purchase a book / magazine of a thickness based upon the estimated time of departure, and find the nearest bench. She would pick him up on the way out of the mall. I've tried on many occassions and I'm certain that it's a marriage saver. :D