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Plea for help in Mtl

twinmommy
June 9th, 2005, 11:04 PM
This is a strange one, I know, we help animals here, but I have a friend who needs help.

I just finished a phonecall with her, and I am so disturbed I am beside myself.
She is in depression, and riddled with anxiety. She is also suicidal and has tried to kill herself in the last few weeks.

She is not in denial, she is trying to go through the healthcare system to get help. She has shown up at the emergency rooms of the Mtl General and outpatient clinics of the Douglas. They simply up her dosage and tell her that she's on the cancellation list and that no one can see her till mid July. :eek:

I'm posting this because I know that sometimes, unfortunately it's WHO you know. Should anyone here be able to help in any way,by your contacts, or colleagues, and get my friend an earlier appointment I would be very grateful. I'm no doctor, but I believe that she should be handled as an emergency and that she needs to be assessed and properly medicated.(I think right now she's over medicated)
I know it sounds like a strange thing to put in a thread, I'm just stricken with worry and feel so helpless. She doesn't want to see me today or you can be sure I would not be typing about her, but with her instead.

Worried sick. :sick:

Luba
June 9th, 2005, 11:13 PM
Hugs to you, I'm sure you are very upset.

Instead of going to the hospital, Distress lines and suicide prevention lines may be able to help her or help you help her...as they can probably give more information.
If you have a phone book look it up in the meantime I"ll check the net for a number for you.

Luba
June 9th, 2005, 11:15 PM
Here you go dear:

If you need help, please call us

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/crisis.aspx

If you need help for yourself, a friend, or family member, call
-800-273-TALK (8255) right away.
Call for yourself.
Call for someone you care about.
Call to talk.
Call to get help.
Call to save a life.
We can help:
The hotline is staffed by trained counselors,
We are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week,
We have information about support services that can help you.

Shamrock
June 9th, 2005, 11:29 PM
Oh, how terrible, Twinmommy - no wonder you are so upset. :sad:

What about her family doctor? Can he help get her admitted?
The Crisis Line? Can they recommend anyone who can help speed this up?

I wonder too,.. is she stating her feelings VERY accurately when at the Emerg?
Sometimes people minimize.. and then are assessed as minimal risk.
I just cant understand how she can be expected to wait when she is in crisis. If she states she is having suicidal thoughts - now - I thought they HAD to admit and assess.

Good luck with this, Twinmommy. I hope someone can help you here... and my thoughts and prayers are with you and your friend. :grouphug:
I sincerely hope she can get the help she needs and wants started, and soon.

twinmommy
June 9th, 2005, 11:41 PM
Thanks for the numbers, I'll pass it on

I thought they had to admit and assess also, Shamrock, and you're right she did minimize things, but at the same time admitting to taking a whack of pills. :eek:

she saw a social worker this morning and the social worker said that she seemed to be "in control". and yet,I wanted to pack up the kids and go see her and she can't handle visitors...???(maybe she just can't handle my kids!!I would rather that!! :o

But seriously,all jokes aside, it is very scary that they discharged her when she's already had one attempt.

CyberKitten
June 9th, 2005, 11:41 PM
I am sorry to hear about your friend - I am trying to think who I know in Mtl that might be able to help/ Our university chancellor is from there tho he is a pediatrician but his brother practiced there (Mtl) for many yrs. I do know the waiting lists in pschiatry have been awfil lately - even with adolecent psch and then ppl wonder why when something happens. I even know of a case where a child first derailed a VIA train and then after that process ended and he was on probabtion, having gone thru "restorative justice", he was arreasted for attempting to kill a cat. Another child saved the kitty!! He was incarcerated at a youth forensic unit but was still not even then officially in the mental health system and did not have his own psychiatrist - it was crazy. It is sometimes like pulling teeth to get someone to see a child ill with cancer who is not coping well in a part of the Maritimes where I have fewer contacts - Halifax, Cape Breton, Charlottetown and northern NB are fine but the rest see someone stressed out with cancer as not a priority. I sometimes they think this patient will die anyway so it is not as high on their list as someone who has attempted suicide. Things have changed since Kubler Ross's landmark book but some health care professionals continue to be uncomfortable with the dying, sighhhhhhhhhh!!!

Have you thought of doing this politically? Call your MNA and ask them if they want to be responsible for this person's life? Do you know anyone on the Board of the hospital where your friend would go? I do have a former med school (well residency actually) prof who used to teach at McGill - he may know some people there - he was not my fav prof (he plays at being a geriatric hippie and did more teaching than working with patients which made him a terribe role model imho but he must still know ppl there.) I also know someone on the facilty of Med at McGill but my mother and he got into a budget fight when she was on the Board of Governors there - but hey, I can make amends for her. My sister also teaches there but not in medicine.

What if you went with her to an ER and said you would not leave until they find her a bed? Does she have her own psychiatrist?

I will be away in Boston for a conference until Wednesday but will try to check in in the meantime. You have my email address right?

iRONKNiGHT
June 9th, 2005, 11:41 PM
I know it sounds like a strange thing to put in a thread
NO it's NOT a strange thing.. i just wish That when the time comes..my "friends" or our "friends" would do the same for "me" or "us" as you're doing for your friend...

Luba
June 10th, 2005, 12:02 AM
I think that perhaps you should call the crisis line number I supplied as well, it will make YOU feel better and give YOU advise on how to deal with the situation. This is stressful for you too :grouphug:

mrjohndoe
June 10th, 2005, 01:26 PM
Thanks for the numbers, I'll pass it on

I thought they had to admit and assess also, Shamrock, and you're right she did minimize things, but at the same time admitting to taking a whack of pills. :eek:


Unfortunately, this is a no. My first major depression (hindsight is 20/20) involved an overdose when I was 19. They asked if I wanted to speak to someone...of course I said no..partially out of embarrasement and not thinking right. This is primarily for protection of individual rights which baffles me because doesn't the right to be healthy come first?

she saw a social worker this morning and the social worker said that she seemed to be "in control".

Don't mean to be crass but, in my experience most (not all) Social Workers suck here. I told my counsellor (social worker) how bad I was feeling for three months before I had two od's about a month apart. Needless to say my girlfriend put her in her place at the hospital and actually my regular doctor (gp) wasn't even aware of this.

Second, the social worker should know better than armchair diagnosing.

and yet,I wanted to pack up the kids and go see her and she can't handle visitors...???(maybe she just can't handle my kids!!I would rather that!! :o

But seriously,all jokes aside, it is very scary that they discharged her when she's already had one attempt.

I understand how you feel, you are a very good friend. My friends tried to help me but, I had to hit a wall first. Don't give up.

I don't know how things work there but, my parents got me to see a counsellor at a "Mental Health Outpatient Services" centre and I went directly from there to a ward at a local hospital for a few days. This experience was frightening but, also eye opening because I encountered people with much worse depression and other issues and finally had an answer to what has been causing me to feel that way for fifteen or more years.

The key is finding someone who has the pull and the concern to help your friend.

One place that I found helped out a great deal was the message boards at Webmd.com. It helped me to realize that I'm not alone nor the only one who feels that way.

If you need any help tracking down some help for your friend don't hesitate to email or message me.

Prin
June 10th, 2005, 08:04 PM
I have a GREAT shrink for exactly those problems. She's gone over 20 years without a suicide yet (apparently that's good). But she's not covered by health insurance (govt or otherwise), so money could be a problem. I'll send you a pm with the name and number if you think she can afford it. She's really great.

twinmommy
June 10th, 2005, 10:48 PM
Thanks you guys for the support, and yes Luba you're right, I have been calling those numbers fro help on how to deal.

Alot of great info here, guys, really appreciate this. She's staying with a friend this weekend, which is a good thing because she fears being alone, that'll give me a bit of time to research these links further and know that she has supervision.

Oh yes, do social workers EVER suck here. I believe something happened politicly when they dissolved Ville Marie, but I'm not sure.

Sounds like you're a survivor Johndoe, that's great to hear. :thumbs up