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Stay Home Moms!

Princesss04
June 7th, 2005, 11:14 AM
I was just wondering how many of you were stay home moms, or woman that just stay home and work out of the home. :D

lilith_rizel
June 7th, 2005, 11:20 AM
I am a stay at home mom.....

Eleni
June 7th, 2005, 11:21 AM
im a stay at home mom, and have been for nearly 5 years now.

I have no plans on changing that any time soon, with issacs unique situation he needs all the one on one time he can get


Eleni

raingirl
June 7th, 2005, 11:26 AM
Sorry...don't apply..don't have kids yet! I would want to be a stay at home mom when I do though until they are in school. When they are in school, I want to be home to take them to school, home for them at lunch, and home for them after school...I don't agree with the "drop them at daycare" at 7 am, and pick them up at 5 pm. My sister does that. My nephew is in half days school. He and my niece go to a lady who runs a small in house day care. She takes them when my sis goes to to work, then she takes them to school, takes them after school, and my sis picks them up. It's sad. I don't ever want to be like that.

happycats
June 7th, 2005, 11:32 AM
I stayed home for a year (we are very lucky here, and get 1 year maternity leave) My Hb worked from home the second year, and after that my Hb got a night job (I have a day job) so our son has always been at home.

I worked in a daycare (rated one of the best) and swore that when I had kids I would NEVER put them in daycare!

Princesss04
June 7th, 2005, 11:33 AM
I think you are right Raingirl! I think if at all possible the best place for a mom is in the home! I know that is not always possible but if it is than I think it is best. Is there anyway I can edit my poll and add another thing to it?

sammiec
June 7th, 2005, 11:35 AM
I am not a SAHM (Stay at home mom). As for now we are undecided. I think I'll cross that bridge in a couple months.


Not everyone has the choice to be SAHM unfortunately. It's not evil or hurtful to place a child in a child care program. I for one was in a daycare I remember because I made some great friends there, so friends that lasted YEARS!! I was raised by a single parent and my mom had no choice but to work and to place us in a facility before and after school.

In a couple months I will be on Mat. Leave for one year, then I face this decision. We could afford for me not to work, but I can say right now that I am 90% sure that I will return to work and place my child in a daycare. There is interaction with other children, learning to share, learning to meet new people, etc... I don't find that a bad thing... and having that intereaction before starting kindergarten can make a difference, IMHO. :)

I know many people who are SAHMs. I see absolutely nothing wrong with it. It's hard work! But I think I would go a little batty without the adult interaction everyday.

Princesss04
June 7th, 2005, 11:38 AM
When are you do Sammi! I am sure you told me but I can not remeber. You are getting close I am sure! Do you know what you are having yet? Do you have any names picked out? :)

happycats
June 7th, 2005, 11:38 AM
I think you are right Raingirl! I think if at all possible the best place for a mom is in the home! I know that is not always possible but if it is than I think it is best. Is there anyway I can edit my poll and add another thing to it?

I think it's best for the child to be at home, And it isn't easy, you have to cut back and make sacrafices, and alot of times do without (just giving up buying a coffee every day at work makes a difference). But it is well wroth it!!
When your child is older he/she won't remember the material things ( or lack there of) he/she will remember that you (or daddy) were always there for them :)

sammiec
June 7th, 2005, 11:41 AM
When are you do Sammi! I am sure you told me but I can not remeber. You are getting close I am sure! Do you know what you are having yet? Do you have any names picked out? :)


I'm due 2 months after Schwinn's wife??! To the day... ;) Yup, it's getting close... VERY busy... we're moving in less then 2 weeks also!!

Princesss04
June 7th, 2005, 11:41 AM
I think it's best for the child to be at home, And it isn't easy, you have to cut back and make sacrafices, and alot of times do without (just giving up buying a coffee every day at work makes a difference). But it is well wroth it!!
When your child is older he/she won't remember the material things ( or lack there of) he/she will remember that you (or daddy) were always there for them :)

I agree Happycats! I think it is best for your child to be with mommy or daddy! I know when I nanned I felt like I was the one there with their kids all the time and the parents missed out on so much! I was there to see their first steps, wrods, etc.

Writing4Fun
June 7th, 2005, 11:42 AM
I'm a work-at-home mom! We decided, when I was pregnant with the second, that it wouldn't be feasible to have daycare for both. Besides, my department was "downsized" while I was on mat leave, so the decision was made for me anyway. :rolleyes: There are like a bazillion women in my neighborhood who offer home daycare, so I think that would have been tough for me to do. So I started up my own engraving company instead. :D Now I get to work around the kids and still be home for them. :thumbs up I agree, if anyone can swing it, they should have one of the parents stay home. Unfortunately, a lot of people don't want to give up the niceties (like cable TV, cell phones and a second brand-new car), so they say they "have to" work. While I understand that not everyone can, it's my opinion that a lot more people could do it if they really wanted to.

Eleni
June 7th, 2005, 11:47 AM
also jsut because you stay home with your children it doesnt mean they miss out on interaction with other kids.


my kids have lots of friends and such in my building, and they all play together daily.

i also take them to the ontario early years program wich is basically like a play group type setting.

the thing is the kids only miss out on what you dont give them, you can choose not to make the effort to socialise the kids but it will bite ya in the bakend come schooltime.

kinda like a pup they need to be socialised properly hehe


Eleni

happycats
June 7th, 2005, 11:48 AM
Unfortunately, a lot of people don't want to give up the niceties (like cable TV, cell phones and a second brand-new car), so they say they "have to" work. While I understand that not everyone can, it's my opinion that a lot more people could do it if they really wanted to.
You are so right !!!! I believe if you really want to do it bad enough, you find a way (I did) no cell phones (we still had cable :) ) we sold our fishing boat (my Hb was heartbroken :sad: but he knew he was doing it for our son)we got an older car, I carpooled, cooked meals from scratch, no take out, no buying coffee, brown bag it for lunch. My Hb also took a big cut in pay to do a night shift job.
I felt as long as we had a roof over our head, the utitities were paid, and there was food in the fridge, thats all that really mattered ;)

sammiec
June 7th, 2005, 11:51 AM
I didn't mean it like they were in solitary confinment with a SAHM, Eleni! :) I realize that SAHM do go out with their children!
I found for me I enjoyed being in that setting. I was in daycamp during the summer up until I was 13 while my mom had to work. I can just remember how great it was to get out and be with other people without Mom always there.

kandy
June 7th, 2005, 11:54 AM
My only son is grown and out of the house - so this doesn't really apply to me anymore. When my son was first born, I stayed at home. It wasn't until a friend asked to move in with us (she was losing her apartment and didn't have anywhere to go) that we started to have financial problems. I had to go back to work to keep us in food - never mind buying a car! My son went to daycare from the age of 3 until he was 12, then he stayed home by himself after school. Although I admire stay at home mom's (or dad's for that matter), I really liked having a job outside the home and think that it made me a better rounded person. I think I would go stir crazy if I didn't have any adult interaction all day. These days, since I am the only one who supports the household (husband owns business that isn't making enough money to support us) I wouldn't be able to quit even if I wanted to (which I don't).

Princesss04
June 7th, 2005, 11:56 AM
Sammi I think you are right, kids need time away from their parents as well. That is what friends are for and grandparents. My SIL will not let her little girl go anywhere without her. She had never spent the night anywhere until she had her second baby and than she had no choice. My niece loves to stay with grandma and stuff but just until here recently has she been given that chance and that is not that often. She has not even got to come and stay with Justin and I. I was close to my aunt, I loved to be with her. I wish I could have that realtionship with her but I have not yet, maybe soon we will see. I think children love thier parents but need time to bond with their grandparents and family as well. :D

lilith_rizel
June 7th, 2005, 12:03 PM
For us, to have Judith in daycare, would cost my entire paychec, plus part of my husbands, if I was working, so we wouldn't benift any. So I am staying a stay at home mom, until we move to a place where the daycare doesn't cost an arm and a leg. Plus we would rather just hire a nanny, if I did start a job. More one on one, and I know that she would get the attention that she needs.

DogueLover
June 7th, 2005, 12:09 PM
I am a stay at home mom and I love it.
There are perks to being a stay at home mom........ just like there are perks to being at work.
My kids all have friends who they have over to play and the mom`s are usually with them so you do get the adult interaction every day if you want it.
There is a lot of work to being a stay at home mom but it is so worth it.

For extra cash I do sewing for the dance studio, clean houses for the "working girls" and watch other friends children while they go to their jobs.
It is nice for my kids to have a mom at home to bake cookies with, play games, take them to their extra cirricular activities.
I would work at a job outside the home but I don`t have to. My hubby makes enough money so that we can have a new second car, cell phones, satellite tv, high speed internet and what ever else. I am a tax deduction for him and we like it that way.

Also, my house is always neat and tidy, my yard is immaculate, and my kids and pets always have someone here for them.

I realize that some people have to work and put kids in daycare. My mom ran a daycare when I was growing up and it wasn`t all that bad, but I would not want my kids in one. Hubby and I decided that I would not work out of the home until after all the kids were in school full time and then only if I wanted a job. I would only work at a job that let me be home for meals and before and after school anyway ( jobs that I do now) so not much is going to change.

My oldest will graduate the same year my youngest starts Kindergarten.

I don`t think any of the material stuff you give up is much of a sacrifice when you have the reward of always being there for your kids.

happycats
June 7th, 2005, 12:17 PM
I don`t think any of the material stuff you give up is much of a sacrifice when you have the reward of always being there for your kids.

:thumbs up I agree DogueLover!

Bearsmom
June 7th, 2005, 02:32 PM
OOOH, this is a touchy subject, but I've just gotta say my piece.

I am the breadwinner in my family, making more than my husband. We both work because it's our identities. I'm a firefighter, he's an electrician. I worked damn hard to make it where I am, breaking that elusive "glass ceiling" in a male dominated environment, getting promoted to the rank of Captain in five years (takes most people 10 years to do this).

I don't make that much more than my husband (about $5000), but us both working allows us to provide a beautiful home, loving and nurturing environment for our son.

We travel and spend TONNES of time together.

How dare anyone imply that because someone works, either by choice or by need, they are "not there" for their child(ren)'s needs. I require daycare a total of 4 days per month from 7am till 6pm. Since Robbie is an only child, this time at daycare allows him to interact with other children, and he LOVES it.

Days off, Robbie and I are attached at the hip. How insulting that someone could think that working moms "aren't there".

Grrr.

DogueLover
June 7th, 2005, 03:34 PM
I didn`t mean to offend you or imply that you "aren`t there" for your child.
I simply meant that stay at home mom`s are physically there when their kids are. I don`t think that working mom`s cannot provide everything for their kids that stay at home moms can......... just simply that when you do stay at home you are always physically there for the kids. It by no means was intended to sound like you are not providing for your child.

For me I am fortunate that my hubby makes enough money so that I do not have to work. And I identify myself as an individual who does not need a title to have an identity. Personally, being a mom is enough for me........ that is just who I am. If I never go to work and earn more money than my hubby that is okay with me, there is no job that can pay me what being a stay at home mom does.
This again, is not meant to be an insult to those moms who do go out to work, each of us does what we feel we need to and that is okay, what a boring world we would live in if we were all the same.
I think it is very admirable that you have worked to the position you are at in your career, especially since most of the time men hold that position. Whether we work at a job outside the home or not being a mom has it`s rewards.

happycats
June 7th, 2005, 03:41 PM
No offence intended, but physically, (if you are at work and your child is in daycare) you "are not there" for your child. That is the point I was making.

april21h1
June 7th, 2005, 03:55 PM
This does not apply to me because I don't have a child. My bf does he has shared custody of his daughter, she is in daycare after school progam.
Personally I would take the year of maternity leave, then would have to work at least part time. I would use either daycare or a babysitter.

Jackie467
June 7th, 2005, 04:08 PM
I don't have any children yet. But both my parents worked when I grew up, and I grew up happy and very close to my parents. My parents would both leave for work at 7am and come home at 6pm (they worked at the same grease plant) and later my mother started working from 6 to 3 so she was home when I got home from school, I would stay with my grandmother in the morning and before the time change in the afternoon. I'm much more close with my mother than many people I know who had stay at home moms. I find the implication that stay at home moms are better then working mothers very offensive. I loved my childhood and wouldn't have changed it for anything, when my parents weren't at work they were with me. In fact there were only two times that my parents ever left me for anything other than work, a second honeymoon when I was 13 (7 days) and a funeral when I was a year old (2 days). I will most likely be a working mother, because I feel that I have a lot to offer society and my children even when doing both.

chico2
June 7th, 2005, 04:35 PM
Well,this question does not apply to me either,my sons are waaay grown up and gone(35,39 and 43),but I did stay home with my last two,partly because they were sick and because,you add up cost of daycare and all other costs in going to work,stress etc...we found it was just not worth it,since I was not a proffessional able to bring in a BIG paycheck.
I see it here every day,kids coming home to an empty house after school...I believe it's important someone is there for them,be it mom or dad..
If material things are more important than your children,then it might be time to rethink...
Unfortunately though,in todays society,it's almost impossible for young families to live on one paycheck and I do not mean because of luxuries they want,but just day to day living,food,rent(or mortgage)clothes etc...
I felt lucky I was able to stay home with the boys,helped with home-work etc...could find out if they had any problems in school.
I also volonteered with kids who had difficulty reading in school,imagine a Swede teaching a kid to read English....oh well,it was fun :D

Prin
June 7th, 2005, 10:06 PM
Where does unemployed student fit in? :)

melanie
June 7th, 2005, 10:18 PM
i have to work from home, there is not enough room at the office to fit me in :o :p so until we get the new building its easier for me to work here....

amber416
June 7th, 2005, 11:08 PM
I don't have any kids yet but i could never send my kids to daycare full time. My mom does in-home daycare-- she actually started when i was born, so she could stay home with me-- and i have seen way, way too many kids grow up calling her momma when they haven't even begun to use that word with their real mother yet. I like to work but i wouldn't want to miss out on seeing first steps or hearing first words. I never really understand when people say they would go crazy being at home with their kids every day...i hope i don't ever feel that way, but i guess i will never know for sure until i have one of my own. :)

Writing4Fun
June 8th, 2005, 09:14 AM
I never really understand when people say they would go crazy being at home with their kids every day...i hope i don't ever feel that way, but i guess i will never know for sure until i have one of my own. :)
Go crazy? Honey, I was there for years before the kids came along ... can't go blaming it on them now! :crazy:

Bearsmom, I'm sorry if this thread or anything I said offended you. I guess it's different when one has a "career" that they love. I didn't have a "career" ... I had a "job". I liked my job prior to having kids, but once I had them, I hated my job, felt resentful that my job was taking me away from my kids. Besides, it sounds like you're doing everything you can to minimize daycare time for your son, and you make the most of the time you do spend together. For my part, that's not the type of person I'm referring to here.

It totally depends on the person. There are some people who will go stir crazy without intelligent, adult interaction all day long, or something to challenge their brain. There are also some people who really can't afford to stay home. I just think a lot more people could stay home if they really, really wanted to, and didn't spend so much time, energy and money on keeping up with the Joneses. ;)

twinmommy
June 8th, 2005, 10:55 AM
I was "career girl" before having the kids and once those littel babies are inthe world--Man!! did I change my tune. :rolleyes:

I had an enormously hard time going back to work. I had been off with no salary as I am self employed for three months before they were born on "sort of" bed rest, so by the time they were 2 months old I had to go bback for financial reasons. We do not have expensive cars, house, etc--it was simply to keep afloat.

I am lucky enough to by able to get by just working part time (10-12 hrs week) , and I can usually arrange this while they are sleeping/napping so that they have couple morning a week with Daddy. I am still too "raw" for want of a better word, to leave them with a sitter after having been TOTALLY traumatized by the MIL :evil: :evil: (a whole other thread :rolleyes: ) And I still cry pretty regularly when I have to leave them....

I totally understand the breadwinners, the career people, because I used to be like that. But honestly, I'm totally jealous of anyone that can stay home and I sometimes resent my husband because we can't swing that. (crappy, I know, got to work on that)

Bearsmom
June 8th, 2005, 11:11 AM
I had a fantastically wordy response, but for some reason, it was lost.

I don't resent the fact I work and have a career.

I don't resent that there are a grand total of 4 days per month I'm away from my child and he requires daycare.

I resent those who imply that because they stay home with their children they are somehow superior to those who work either by choice or by need.(which, by the way, I've seen some stay at home mommies in my neighbour hood spend most of their day drinking coffee on their front porches and gossipping with the neighbours while their children run wild all over the place)

For some to say that working moms don't care and aren't there is like me saying that stay at home moms do nothing all day but watch Oprah and eat bon bons. :rolleyes:

Eleni
June 8th, 2005, 11:18 AM
i dont think working moms are missing out or inferior to anything, really everyone does what they think is best.

for me personally, i feel I have to stay home because of issacs needs, he needs one on one time and I feel it would be unfair to expect a baby sitter or daycare to be able to deal with him properly. if he frustrates me you can imagine how frustrating he is to others.

I think all moms have a tough job, raising kids isnt easy these days, wether you work or not.


Eleni

twinmommy
June 8th, 2005, 11:22 AM
Oh, hey, I hope that I didn't give my post a tone that should not be there...

I only meant to say that it kinda caught me by surprise that I didn't go back to work as happily as I thought I would.

I think we just all do our best and both SAHM and moms that work outside th home put up with a lot of judgmental or flippant comments. I think moms in general hear their fair share of it.

Hope I didn't offend you Bearsmom...

Bearsmom
June 8th, 2005, 11:25 AM
i dont think working moms are missing out or inferior to anything, really everyone does what they think is best.

I think all moms have a tough job, raising kids isnt easy these days, wether you work or not.


Eleni

On a much lighter note, at the end of a particularly stressful day of the terrible twos, I called my mother and apologized, as at one time she had 3 of us under the age of 4 at home. I'm still sorry.

Bearsmom
June 8th, 2005, 11:30 AM
Oh, hey, I hope that I didn't give my post a tone that should not be there...

I only meant to say that it kinda caught me by surprise that I didn't go back to work as happily as I thought I would.

I think we just all do our best and both SAHM and moms that work outside th home put up with a lot of judgmental or flippant comments. I think moms in general hear their fair share of it.

Hope I didn't offend you Bearsmom...


Naw, I seriously don't get offended that easily, I just needed to make my point.

It's not fair for people to judge others without knowing their situations. For those of you who care, I work because my husband and I have been fighting a long continual battle with his ex wife for custody, or at the very least some type of visitation with his daughter that he hasn't seen in 5 years. The legal bills are HUGE, and our working keeps the lawyers in their fancy duds.

What kind of a person "forgets" visiting days? "Forgets" that it was his weekend (ordered by the courts)? I've just spent last night with this huge 6'6" man sobbing on my shoulder as he had driven to London to meet with his daughter, and his ex wife "forgot" to get to the meeting place.

Pardon me, all for my nastiness, I'm just so pissed off right now I could chew nails.

Sorry for the thread hijack.

Eleni
June 8th, 2005, 11:31 AM
maybe people will think im nuts for this,

but i find my 3 easier then i found it was when it was just me and hope.

with all three of them they tend to amuse each other, i found with hope i had to be mom+playmate

with all three if i need a moment to do dishes or what not they will play together till I am finished. and i find my youngest is more willing to be put down then my first was, and i think its the "amuse me" factor, hes got lots of people to amuse him and doesnt rely on me solely for this purpose


but im hijacking again hehe

Eleni

Bearsmom
June 8th, 2005, 11:37 AM
Or is that a re-hijack? hehehe


Robbie is not going to have any siblings, so his exposure to other children occurs at daycare where she has 5 children of her own, 2 foster children, and takes in other kids. He just loves it.

twinmommy
June 8th, 2005, 11:45 AM
I think that a lot of the time, working moms, AND stay at home moms are quick to defend themselves. I haven't figured out why yet. Those who work are quick to blurt out where their kids are and how little time they are with a sitter. Those who don't are quick to defend themsleves as well.

I thik we should just give ourselves a break and stop saying "I'm doing this because of x-y and z".

I for one am going to stop the self justification and see if people around me,(mostly my clients) stop their flippant comments.

Might go hand in hand...... :fingerscr

twinmommy
June 8th, 2005, 11:48 AM
What kind of a person "forgets" visiting days? "Forgets" that it was his weekend (ordered by the courts)? I've just spent last night with this huge 6'6" man sobbing on my shoulder as he had driven to London to meet with his daughter, and his ex wife "forgot" to get to the meeting place.

I have lived this with an ex of mine. He had his son full time because she just dumped him on his doorstep when the baby was 14 months old. :eek:

so I know ALL about monsters and their various shapes and sizes.
Feel free to pm me anytime you want to vent,chat,scream, as I know how frustrating another parents "loser" behaviour can be.

happycats
June 8th, 2005, 11:56 AM
What kind of a person "forgets" visiting days? "Forgets" that it was his weekend (ordered by the courts)? I've just spent last night with this huge 6'6" man sobbing on my shoulder as he had driven to London to meet with his daughter, and his ex wife "forgot" to get to the meeting place.



been there, still doing that !!! It sounds just like my life !! only difference being, my hb's ex says "ha ha they are not here, and you can't see them!! After a 4 hour drive one way!
Unfortunately fathers don't seem to have many rights :sad:

Ditto what twinmommy said, feel free to pm me :)

Writing4Fun
June 8th, 2005, 12:05 PM
You nailed it, twinmommy. We all hear our fair share of comments, which is why we all feel the need to defend ourselves.

Yeah, I've heard the "soap operas and bon bons" comments plenty of times (like when Phoebe was attacked, that was the owner's response - "Ah, go back inside and watch your soap operas!" :evil: ). I've also heard the "Oh, so you don't work?" comments, like I'm not quite as intelligent or driven or ambitious because I don't have a career outside of the home.

Bearsmom, I totally feel for your hubby. My ex-BIL was supposed to go to the visitation centres for visits with his children. After he got thrown out the first few times, he never bothered making any further arrangements. How do you explain to a sobbing 3 year old that Daddy couldn't be bothered? Obviously, my sister didn't say that, but that's what it boiled down to. :mad:

Bearsmom
June 8th, 2005, 12:13 PM
Thanks, guys, I certainly will use those pm's when I'm about ready to blow.

His ex just doesn't get it. We're now trying to get a judgement against her for breaking a court order.

My heart just breaks for him, as it's been a long fight, and every single time we manage to get some type of visit arranged, he gets all excited, then, boom, she forgets, and he's devastated.

She also likes to call our house drunk at 3 am demanding her support money (she forgets it's automatically deposited into her account).

heeler's rock!
June 8th, 2005, 12:17 PM
Oooh! This is a great thread! I'm going to be facing the decision as to whether or not to put our baby in daycare soon too. my situation is different though. I'm working as a temp right now and there is no word on whether or not this position will be come permanent before I leave for mat leave in September. If it does, I can take a year off without worrying about money. If it doesn't, I'll be on EI and we all know that's not nearly enough money! If hubby becomes a cop, then we'd be okay, but not great. It's managelable at least for a year. If he doesn't become a cop, then I'll have to return to work as early as 3 months. It sucks big time, but we'll have no money for anything with the little bit that EI pays and his little pay from his current job.

If I do get a year off, I'm pretty sure I'll be returning to the work force afterwards. My mom had to put me and my sister in daycares right away after having us as she wasn't entitled to mat leave and is the sole provider for our family, even though my dad is in the picture. With my sister, she had her by c-section on July 24, 1992, and was back at work July 28, 1992. I ended up babysitting my sister for the rest of the summer as I was 13 and on break from school, then she started daycare that fall. We both turned out alright.

Another reason I think I'd return to work after a year, even if I could afford to be off, is because it's really hard to get back into the work force once you're out for so long. My cousin is attempting to get back to work now that her kids are 7 and 8, and she can't. No one will hire her because she's been a SAHM for so long. I think it's of course up to each individual, but I wanna provide nice things for my kids and not have to struggle with money. If hubby becomes a cop and I work in the field I'm in now (Oil and Gas), we'll be financially set and able to do things with our kids my parents could never afford to do with us. If he started making enough that we could live comfortably though, then I'd love to be a SAHM, as long as I don't have to worry about money like my parents did. Again, this is all JMO and I love hearing everyone's stories! Hope I'm not offending anyone as that's not my intent! :o

Schwinn
June 8th, 2005, 12:41 PM
I did a study in University about homecare vs. daycare. There really was no clear cut winner. There were some surprising conclusions which I won't get into, because I find my asbestos undies tend to scratch.

Cheryl is going to go back to work. Long story short, she is one of the chosen few to be fast-tracked up the ladder in the bank, and she doesn't want to give that up. Those who get this "designation" are few and far between, so this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Has nothing to do with her needing a title for her "identity", it has to do with the fact that we believe happy and healthy kids and successful careers are not mutually exclusive. That being said, it's been recommended to me by several co-workers who are friends that I take paternity leave, if for no other reason than to get out of here before they find me in a tall tower with a gun. WHEN I get on the police force, I'll be home four days and at work four days, so I'll be able to get to spend time with the kids. Unfortunatly, with daycare spots being tight around here, most will not allow you to have partial weeks, you pay for all or nothing. Mind you, with my pathetic pay cheque, maybe we should be looking at me being a stay-at-home dad? Only, I don't clean well, so I don't know how well that would go over. Ah, if only I could get my novel finished and become a writer!

And being someone who grew up without material things and a stay at home mom, trust me. Sometimes that does affect the kids. I'm not going to get into details, but lack of money caused big issues for us, to the point where I have guilt about contributing little to the household finacially. Because of the enviroment I grew up in, finances are a big issue for me. I'll just say that, because I'm sure whole text books could be written about my issues!

twinmommy
June 8th, 2005, 12:54 PM
Ah, if only I could get my novel finished and become a writer!

I think many on this site, myself included would definitely buy your book!!! Especially if it was written with your sense of humor!!!

LOL

Writing4Fun
June 8th, 2005, 12:55 PM
That being said, it's been recommended to me by several co-workers who are friends that I take paternity leave, if for no other reason than to get out of here before they find me in a tall tower with a gun.
My brother and SIL shared the parental leave. She stayed home for 9 months, he stayed home for 3, and then took an extra month of unpaid leave. He loved it, and I encourage more men to take advantage of parental leave if they can. :thumbs up

twinmommy
June 8th, 2005, 12:57 PM
sorry for the hijack, had to go get bonbons. I'm back now. :crazy:

munch, munch, munch.


Seriously, on the topic of dead beat exes, I wish they would crack down harder in quebec than they do. Is it the same in other provinces? I thought this was a federal matter?

Princesss04
June 8th, 2005, 01:10 PM
When my Mom and Dad divorced, Dad got custody of us. We grew up with him. We have to stay with our Gram or aunt while he was at work, and I think we came out okay! LOL (you all are sitting there thinking yeah! that is what you think LOL) :D

Writing4Fun
June 8th, 2005, 01:14 PM
Just for the record, I think there's a H-U-G-E difference between going to daycare and being raised by Grandma or Aunt Mary.

Ok, sorry for the interruption ... continue debating...

Bearsmom
June 8th, 2005, 01:32 PM
[QUOTE=twinmommy]sorry for the hijack, had to go get bonbons. I'm back now. :crazy:

munch, munch, munch.
QUOTE]

Holy crap, laugh my freakin butt off!!!!!!!!

Most child support issues are handled provincially, however the feds get involved when there's an issue of non payment. My hubby has faithfully paid monthly, and is never late. His ex moved without telling him, and his $ got returned, but was kept in a separate account. That then involved us hiring another lawyer and P.I. to locate her, and shortly thereafter, the feds were involved (can't remember the office name) threatening him with garnishment of wages, etc etc etc. Thank GOD we had everything documented, and our lawyer fired off a nasty letter to them, they backed off right away.

Geesh, some people suck.

Bearsmom
June 8th, 2005, 01:34 PM
Unfortunatly, with daycare spots being tight around here, most will not allow you to have partial weeks, you pay for all or nothing.

That was our biggest challenge, there was no way we were going to pay for five days a week when he was going to be there maybe once every two weeks. HUGE ripoff. That's why robbie goes to private daycare, she only charges us for the days he's there.

HorseCrazy!
June 8th, 2005, 05:55 PM
I would love to work from home!! How does one find those jobs??!! Our son is 20 almost 21... so this doesnt really apply to me now. But yes... I want to work from home any suggestions would be great!!

happycats
June 8th, 2005, 06:08 PM
My husband built fishing tackle and sold it to fishing stores.

Writing4Fun
June 8th, 2005, 08:12 PM
I would love to work from home!! How does one find those jobs??!!
There's a BIG difference between a work-at-home job and a work-at-home business. I'm by no means an expert on the subject, but PM me if your interested in the few tips I've learned along the way. The first thing to decide, though, is if you want a wah job (where someone else pays you) or a wah biz (you run the show).

doggy lover
June 9th, 2005, 04:53 PM
I have worked full time since I left school, I wish I could stay home now, my kids are almost 18 and 16. I'd love to retire, even though I'm only 41. I find I missed so much of my kids lives growing up. I enjoy my own money too so it is hard to decide what you want.

mrjohndoe
June 10th, 2005, 07:47 PM
What a great thread! :thumbs up

Speaking as the product of a stay at home mom. I think I turned out ... okay let's not go there but, lucky enough to have both parents around before school as we farmed until I was around 8.

Mom has always worked as a Rural Route mail carrier for over 30 years and later on worked some different afternoon jobs.

Unfortunately, now-a-days it isn't always affordable to stay at home for both parents like my brother & sister-in-law. Actually, he would be glad to be a stay at home dad but, just not financially possible.