June 1st, 2005, 03:26 PM
Or should I say Parents today? Two incidents that happened this week are really bothering me and I just wanted to know if I am the only one who feels this way.
Today my son came home with a bloody big toe... not a big deal, but I took the bandaid off and his nail is split right down the middle! I asked him what happened (he was wearing sandals so I just figured he stubbed it pretty good) he said he was talking to a boy in his class, this boy didn't want my son talking to him so he kicked his foot repeatedly until my son stopped talking. What?! How can a kid do that to another? Who would've taught him that? If my son ever did anything close to that to another person I woulda kicked his butt to his room for the day. I don't know maybe I'm overreacting. I know kids have little tiffs but when I was a kid this was not acceptable, especially at school.
I called his teacher because my son said nothing to her, except that it was bleeding (did she not ask what happened?) She said they ate lunch outside today so it probably happened there. Today was a picnic day for his school, I was with him during his lunch! The whole time too!
The other incident was way worse. It did not happen to my son, it was my nephew, he's 5 years old.
He was outside playing with his basketball, a 10 year old kid came up to him and said he wanted my nephews ball, my nephew said no and the kid beat him up! He had to go to the hospital for stitches above his eye, two black eyes, cracked lips. Since when does a 10 yr old fight a 5 yr old? My SIL called the cops about it and they could do nothing because he's only 10 and he's from another state just visiting relatives. So that's it? Nothing can be done? I know my SIL should've been there with her son, 5 is a bit young to be outside by himself, but still, this should've never happened in the first place.
Kids have no respect these days and I'm so sick of it! It makes me sad my son and other kids in the family have to go through this. :sad:
June 1st, 2005, 03:44 PM
That is TERRIBLE!! Not only did those poor kids have to deal with the abuse on their own, but the perpetrators got no punishment whatsoever! Hubby thinks I'm over-protective for not letting our 5 1/2 year old son play in front of the house by himself. Once in a while, I start to feel that maybe he has a point and maybe I should loosen up. And then I read something like this, and I realize that I was right all along! I can't believe the police couldn't do anything because the kid is from out of state. What kind of message is that sending?! Want to do something bad? Just cross the state line and it'll be ok! Sneaky, I hope your son is ok. Splitting a nail can really smart! Geez!! First, the pick-up trucks, then the pug puppy, and now this! :mad:
June 1st, 2005, 04:49 PM
Writing4Fun, I'm flattered to be on your mind, but I didn't post this thread. Sneaky did. You obviously did not take the bubblebath I prescribed, did you :D ?
Sneaky, I am almost at a loss for words. Writing4Fun pretty much said everything that comes to mind, but I'm literally wincing here for those poor kids! How is your darlin doing today with his toe?
June 1st, 2005, 05:10 PM
I'm really sorry to hear it Sneaky, about your son and your nephew!
Bullying has become an alarming threat to our kids today. I don't understand why the school, parents and police would tolerate such violent behavior!
My husband was bullied when he was a kid, and it had made a profound impact on his life, even today, he doesn't like to talk about it, throughout the years I've known him I've only succeeded to squeeze a few bully stories out of him. It must be very very painful.
June 1st, 2005, 05:14 PM
Oh, geez! :eek: Sorry about that, Sneaky! Where was my head at?! :o I guess the threads are all starting to run together. I do hope your guy is doing better, though. And your nephew as well. So young to be exposed to that kind of brutality! :sad:
No, CF, I didn't take that bath. I haven't had a bubble bath since waaaaayyyy before the kiddies came into the picture (although they get them all the time *pouts* - I'm so jealous, even if it is Spider Man bubble bath! :p ).
June 1st, 2005, 06:32 PM
I only wish that I were surprised by any of that.
I live in city wher I get mostly Detroit news stations ... I hear about kids getting shot for a pair of shoes, a jacket.. or for no reason at all ... way too often.
Zero Tolerance in schools is supposed to be all over the place, the child that did that to your son should be reprimanded in some way.
As for the 5 yr old ... glad it wasn't worse. Sadly, kids need to be tuaght that, nothing is worse losing your life over (you know what I mean, the idea that if you are being mugged, give them whatever the ask for...)
June 1st, 2005, 06:48 PM
James told me that our kids are never to be left outside alone until they are 8. And he's only 20, and saying that. He is the overprotective one in the family, but I can understand where he is coming from. Both of us had bad childhood, and our little family is the most precious thing to both of us, and if something would happen to any of us, it would destry him and/or me.
That is horrible to hear what happend to your nephew and your son. There has to be something that can be done. Try to contact the parents, and inform them of what happend. If that was Judith how did that, she'd get a tap on her rear that's for sure.
June 2nd, 2005, 07:40 AM
He's ok, it's just black and blue now. Thanks for your thoughts... I am glad to know I am not alone! :love:
June 2nd, 2005, 08:32 AM
OMG sneaky how sad, It's just terrible!
I would go right to the source (the parents), they need to know they have a bully child, and need to do something about it!
Sometimes the parents need a good talking to, as there child is the way it is because of them.
And I don't understand schools?? If someone in my work place did that to me they would be charged with assault, why is it condoned in schools??
June 2nd, 2005, 08:39 AM
Apparently his teacher is going to drop it. She said the boy that my son said did this is not an aggressive kid and she's never had a problem with him before. She will ask him about it, but that's it. I don't see how this could even happen in the first place. Last I knew kids couldn't be left alone at school, where was the teacher when this happened? Where are the teachers when any violence at school happens???
I want to live where the schools are not packed with kids that are unsupervised. I would love to live where there's only a handful of kids in each GRADE! There are over 700 kids in my son's school... 1-5 grades.
June 2nd, 2005, 08:48 AM
My son starts school in September, and my HB and I have already decided, if we are unhappy with the overcrowding, or my son is bullied, we will put him in private school (It's the same price as daycare).
I couldn't imagine how I would feel, if some kid injured my son for no reason!
I would want to kick the teacher, if she took it as lightly as your sons teacher :evil:.
Violence is violence, and it should be stopped imediately, not "wait and see if he does it again", thats BS.
I know if my son hurt another child I would want to be informed right away! I don't care if my son had never done it before, I would want to know, so I could do something about it!
June 2nd, 2005, 09:06 AM
That is terrible that the teacher didn't even know what happen to your son. Over crowding in schools in a major problem in some places. How many kids are in your son's class? In my kids school, K-5, there are two classes for each grade, one french and one english. They are only allowed to have 25 kids in a class for one teacher and one teacher's assistant. The teacher's assistant is usually a student from the University here that are taking education. My son is in K, there are 25 kids in his class plus two student assistant's. If something happens at school, we are automatically called after and the other student's parents are called as well. Also, the k-2 grades do not have lunch or recess at the same time as the 3-5 grades, which is good cause it keeps the bullying under control for the older kids bullying the younger kids.
We do not allow our kids to go anywhere alone, we always have an eye on them so we know what they are doing. The only time they are alone is in the backyard, but we live outside the city and there isn't many houses around. They are not allowed to go in the front yard or the driveway alone.
June 2nd, 2005, 10:07 AM
Sneaky, I hope your son feels better. Maybe a giant sized hoofprints ice cream cone would do the trick.
If someone in my work place did that to me they would be charged with assault, why is it condoned in schools??
I don't understand this either. AT ALL!
Apparently his teacher is going to drop it. She said the boy that my son said did this is not an aggressive kid and she's never had a problem with him before. She will ask him about it, but that's it.
:eek: When will the teacher deal with it. After he hurts the third kid, or the tenth kid? First time, shmirst time. This kid just pushed his limits to see how far he could go. Yup. Cool. If someone is talking too much I can hurt them and it will stop them, and it's ok, 'cus I didn't get in trouble when I did it the last time.
June 2nd, 2005, 11:49 AM
having worked in daycare and in day camps, I will give the other side of the story.
This stuff happens all the time (unfortunately) and most orgnaizations tell their staff that only if it re-occurs or if it's the same kid over and over, then action is taken. One occurance with a kid who hasn't ever done anything in the past is assumed to be an accident or misunderstanding, and is let go. And we have zero tolerance. The kid would be talked to, both sides of the story taken, and the incident recorded, that's it. With most zero tolerance, nothing happens until there is a second incident.
The injured kids parents would have been notified when the child was picked up from daycare/camp though, which I understand you were not.
Having seen all kinds of things happen (keeping in mind, I worked for Girl Guides of Canada mostly, so all the kids were girls there) to me it was just regular kid stuff. The girls fight over a ball, one kicks the other over, the other girl gets first aid and looked after, the kicker gets a time out or doesn't get the ball for the rest of the week. That's how it works.
We also had about 20 kids to 3 counsellors and incidents happen no matter whether people are there or not. I worked at one place and it was a group of less than 20, and 4 counsellors (two activity counsellors which I was, and two counsellors for the group) and some kid managed to give another a punch in the nose that we all missed. Now that kid was a trouble maker anyway, and always had problems, so he was sent to the "camp office" and parents were notified. The other kid got first aid and his parents were notified when they came to pick him up. That camp was in Toronto's "Bridlepath" area, and most of the kids there were rich kids whose parents could care less what they did. The kid who was always causing trouble I'm sure had some complexes. I was told his parents actually said it was good he punched the other kid because he was bothering him! Jeannie Becker's kids went to that camp (Fashion Television lady) and they were spoiled brats!
June 2nd, 2005, 12:17 PM
I agree that things happen even if there isn't any overcrowding and sometimes even if the teacher is in the room. My son was bullied repeatedly by the same kid, and the kid told him that it wouldn't do any good to tell because the teacher was his aunt. One day, my son was sitting at his desk and the bully was chasing another kid around the room with a pencil in his hand. I don't know where the teacher was, but the bully tripped and stabbed my son in the eye with the pencil. At that point, I had had enough and met with the teacher. I told her that if she would've disciplined the bully for any of the other numerous incidents, this never would've happened. She said that she had never had any problems with the bully before. I proceeded to tell her of all the stories my son would come with about what he (the bully) had done that day and what he said about her being his aunt. Turns out that none of the kids had ever told on him because they believed him when he said the teacher was his aunt (which she wasn't). I would bet that there have been many other incidents with this kid that the teachers haven't been told about. You might want to talk to other parents and see if their kids have had any problems. Sometimes parents don't get involved even if they know about something because they are worried that the bully will pick on their kid even more after he gets in trouble. BTW, my son's eye was fine - the pencil went in to the side of the pupil and didn't leave any lead behind. His eye gets irritated easily and is red quite often, but that seems to be the only permanent damage.