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Phone Harssment

Blaze01
May 17th, 2005, 09:37 AM
I was wondering if anyone has ever dealt with this and how did they go about handling it? I just broke up with my boyfriend Greg of three years and now he has some girl blowing up my phone and leaving threating messages. I am not afraid of this girl but dont want any trouble. I might live in the south but I am not a redneck! :)

She has left six messages in total and i have saved one of them where she assures me next time she sees me she is going to beat me up...kinda immature but i dont know what to do about. I am also worried this girl might go after my car or my mothers house which i just moved back into...any ideas or comments would be great.

BMDLuver
May 17th, 2005, 09:41 AM
Do you know why she is calling? Does she somehow feel threatened by your relationship with your ex? Are you able to speak with your ex about this?

If she's making you nervous then go the legal route. Do you have her phone number and address and full name? If so, file for a restraining order with the police and bring the message for them to hear.

Schwinn
May 17th, 2005, 09:50 AM
I'd just give the message to the police and be done with it. Personally, if you have an idiot like that, there's no point in going through different things trying to get them to stop. I had an issue with a guy once, and it didn't stop until I broke his buddies nose and had him charged with assault (they both jumped me one night). I could have "taken care of it" myself, especially since they came out worse than me, but I just couldn't be bothered to have to keep looking over my shoulder or worry about my car. Besides, if it does get carried away, then the police are already aware of the situation. The truth is, the whole thing is stupid, and you just want to end it. To me, this is the fastest and easiest way to take care of it.

Blaze01
May 17th, 2005, 09:52 AM
Honestly i dont know why she is calling...I broke up with Greg on thursday night i wasnt happy any more and he is former drug addict and started to get back into the habit...i cant live my life like that i forgave him last time almost a year ago when we broke up for the same reason but i refuse to be around drugs and excessive drinking. Greg called me yesterday asking why i was doing this to "us" and i just explained i didnt to be with him...i really think i might take the legal path but i dont know her address or phone but i do know her full name considering i went to high school with her...

Lizzie
May 17th, 2005, 09:58 AM
I would go the legal route as well. Save any and ALL messages and correspondence from this person. Pass it on to the police and put an end to it. There is no sense playing these games.

JDG
May 17th, 2005, 09:59 AM
My sister just finished with a court case aganist her ex-boyfriend about a similar thing (my sister's incidences were a little more 'aggrevated' lets say). We are waiting on his sentancing.

The police told her to:

1. Document everything in a note book. Take pictures if there is damamge
(Times, Dates, Locations, if they were alone or with someone, type of harrassment, list damages)

2. Everytime you document something phone or visit someone and tell them about it right away - as a verification. Write down in your notebook who you told.

3. Don't react or Ignore them if you get into contact with them

4. Don't let anyone else 'talk to' or 'take care' of them.

5. Take everything to the police

Let the police take care of things, in my sister's case the police 'complied information' and laid the charges - not her. When the police lay charges, there is more chance of them sticking. . .

Her ex-boyfriend is now on the brink of jail time, and heavy community service. . . . .

SarahLynn123
May 17th, 2005, 10:05 AM
my sister had a creep call her every now and then. We just call the cops, (the non emergency number) and they gave us some number (*5) or something and it traces their call. They said trace teh call and hang up. He stopped soon after. They also said to document everything.

Give the cops a call and see what they say.

Blaze01
May 17th, 2005, 10:08 AM
Thanks guys...my main fear is she is going to take this to far and i have a really bad temper and i really dont want to have to face her in public. I just wish this would all go away and everytime I go out i wont have to have my guard up or waiting for her to show up. Im not afraid of this girl but afraid what i will do to her if i get my hands on her. When i saw her at the mall I just walked away but then i feel like coward and I know i shouldnt because its best to walk away but....

BMDLuver
May 17th, 2005, 10:10 AM
If she calls you again. Right after she calls use the code to pull the number. If she's calling from her home then you'll get a number. If it's a cell it will say private number or the number that called cannot be reached this way. The code here is *69. Then take the number you are given and do a reverse lookup on the internet. Try mytelus.com to do the lookup. If it's a listed number then you will get the name and address that the number belongs to. If it matches her family name then you've got the address. If home number is personal then it will say no match found. Voila, how to do it, lol.

In the meantime, record everything as said and go to the police about it. Better safe than sorry. Particuliarly if his activities are not the greatest. :sad:

Blaze01
May 17th, 2005, 10:14 AM
Thanks so much for that i didnt know you could do that...the phone is turned off now but she can still leave messages...i cant disconnect the phone because i have a contract on it when Greg and I got the couples plan...I will turn the phone back on and wait for her to call...I talked to someone at the court house and he said if it contuines then I should press charges and they will arrest her for harssment...

Eleni
May 17th, 2005, 10:17 AM
you can get your number unlisted too, not sure how much that costs, but my mom did it when my mom and dad broke up and he was leaving threatening messages, she also got a restraining order, wich could be another option if you are afriad they may hurt you or whatever


Eleni

Blaze01
May 17th, 2005, 10:21 AM
Yes i am calling cingular today and going to see if they will change the number so I dont have to deal with it anymore...if i did get a rest. order it would do much sure it says you cant come near this person but all it is is a piece of paper...I dont trust two cocaine addicts...I dont know what to do except carry a bat in my car and try to get of them..

kidsruz4
May 17th, 2005, 10:32 AM
I would just change the number as soon as possible and like alot of people said just note down everything the calls if you see them near your place and everything.I know it is complicated when you feel your anger rise but you have to ask yourself is it worth it is it really worth for you to hit any of them .. cause it would be you getting arrested not them. just don't play the game and just document everything and go to the police that would be your best bet....
take care hope everything works out

Eleni
May 17th, 2005, 10:35 AM
sure a rest. order is jsut a peice of paper, but if they harass you further, it is at least documented.

you are more likely to get results if you want them charged if its documented and you ahve proof[rest. order] that they should be no where near you, nor bothering you over the phone


Eleni

JDG
May 17th, 2005, 10:37 AM
If it does escalate, don't press charges yourself. . .have the police press the charges.

Think of the police as the insurance company if you had a car accident. (The people in the middle) They deal with the other party on your behalf. . . it would be far less stressful for yourself.

. . .My sister was told that charges brought on by police stick or hold more weight than those by laid by civilians. . . .

JDG
May 17th, 2005, 10:39 AM
Also, if you have the police press charges they are present at the trial, and you wouldn't have to be.

My sister only had to provide a written 'victim impact statement' and never had to appear in court. . . .

Schwinn
May 17th, 2005, 10:40 AM
Thanks guys...my main fear is she is going to take this to far and i have a really bad temper and i really dont want to have to face her in public. I just wish this would all go away and everytime I go out i wont have to have my guard up or waiting for her to show up. Im not afraid of this girl but afraid what i will do to her if i get my hands on her. When i saw her at the mall I just walked away but then i feel like coward and I know i shouldnt because its best to walk away but....

This is exactly why you should call the cops. I told the cop I didn't have time for this crap, he agreed, and they pressed charges. I never had a problem again. I couldn've handled it myself, but since I took care of two of them, next time it would've been three that showed up. I don't need to prove anything to anyone, and I don't need to get hurt in the process.

Blaze01
May 17th, 2005, 10:51 AM
thanks guys if they leave any messages tonight the first thing in the morning i am going to talk to the magristit (sp)
I shouldnt have to deal with this...when somene says its over it should be over!

Luvmypit
May 17th, 2005, 11:47 AM
Blaze I wish you luck! But seriuosly listen to what people have said. Record everything you can. Atleast if you find yourself in a situation and you feel the need to seriously defend yourself and you hurt one or both of them atleast you have on record the harassment and threats. That is all a judge needs to say hey looks like you guys were looking for trouble.

Blaze01
May 17th, 2005, 12:07 PM
I have decided to go ahead and go to the courthouse today after work...I shouldnt have to worry about this crap...I just wish it would all be over but I know that i am going to have to do something about it before it gets to bad...I am just so tired of dealing with this. I have the message saved and two witness saying she verbally threated me at the mall. Thanks for the all the input and if you guys know anything else that would be great!

melanie
May 17th, 2005, 05:41 PM
please dont think i make light of yoru situation BUT- when i had my female stalker, i jsut accuesd her of really being a lesbian and being in love with me, i also said that was nothing to be ashamed about, i understand im very nice :D but i certainly did ask why was she so ugly, and that her ugliness was just down right insulting. after the lesbian chat i never heard from her again and when i see her in the street she looks sideways at me, lol (i often wonder if it far from the truth, well why would one woman become so obsessed with another, love or attraction i reckon)

dotn get angry, you will jsut antagonise, but do be a smart a$$ and do try and freak her out a little, take back that power that she thinks she has, she thinks your scared, so jsut accuse her of dating your ex to get closer to you due to her lesbian hopes, and see where that goes. also leave a msg on your answering machine like this ' hi not able to answer, if this is ------ please leave me a msg and we will get this love triangle ONNNN baby' lol.

i generally find when you talk to harrasers like this it totally freaks them out and puts them off, give it a go, if it does not work at least you will have them a bit freaked and guessing :D

god some ppl just need a life dont they, if you speak to her mention that pehaps a life is what is needed. stupid cow, god some women hey :rolleyes:

kandy
May 17th, 2005, 06:45 PM
I have had dealings in the past with cocaine addicts. Unfortunately, their brain is probably fried from all the drugs so sarcasm will probably be lost on them. I would definitely get the police involved, and I would have my cell number changed as soon as possible - if you explain the situation I am sure that your cell company will change it for you. Don't take chances that this might escalate into something more than harrassment.

melanie
May 17th, 2005, 08:43 PM
oh did not realise she was a dodgy junkie, missed that. yeah they have no brains and absolutly nothing but police tend to work on them. idiots.

but keep that little idea stashed away for any future psychos. :thumbs up

that gene pool really does need chlorination. :(

TWilson9498
May 17th, 2005, 09:44 PM
Down here it is called harrassing communications, as im sure it is there as well. ive had the problem myself with my ex's new... whatever she is... the police told me to do the whole nootbook thing too, & to report to them every time... they will give you a case # each time something happens you write it in your notebook & call them, give em the # they will add it to your case... also if you have caller id, take pictures of the caller id when she calls therefore you can show the cops, incase your phone gets damaged or erases the #. save your cell bill if you have detailed calling, that way they know how many times she calls & proof you dont call her. finally, call the cell company... they will either tell you one of 2 things... you have call tracing ( not *69, but call tracing) or they can add it... i have both *69 & call tracing... the difference is *69 gives you the #... tracing you dial it, and hang up. it automatically traces the # keeping a log for you w/ the phone company. more importantly than anything... file the initial report. you only need her name... cops can get addresses.... good luck..

Karin
May 17th, 2005, 11:10 PM
I have used call tracing before in the past. I am very happy I had that option at the time. I think it was #57, (with my phone service). The last incoming call was traced and the associated law inforcement agency notified. An officer arrived about the same time the department called to say it was successful and asked if I wanted to press charges, the deputy took the report. All in 30 minutes time. ( a deputy was dispatched to the callers address at the same time) Never heard another peep from that jerk again!

Prin
May 18th, 2005, 12:36 AM
I would get a guy friend to record another message on the phone-- like "Hey, this is Bob, sorry I can't answer right now but leave a message" or "This is Pizza Hut. Press 1 for Delivery, 2 for take out..." If they're cokeheads, maybe they'll think they got a wrong number...

Shaykeija
May 3rd, 2006, 06:33 PM
Now I like that one.. Pizza Hut :p

Shaykeija
May 3rd, 2006, 06:34 PM
Silly me really old thread.