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engagements and proposals

May 10th, 2005, 04:20 PM
I was wondering if any of the women on here have ever proposed? What did you man think? Any men here who have been proposed to by their girl?

And engagement rings. I'm seeing a lot of people skipping them lately, or getting something non-traditional, or getting matching rings for the man and woman at the same time.

Also, I hear of a lot of couples where the woman chooses her engagement ring. I don't like that idea. I think if the guy is going to propose, bring the ring's more personal.

I'm just curious. I'm not engaged...yet....but have been...contemplating my options.... (I really hope by BF isn't reading this...)

May 10th, 2005, 05:19 PM
You want to propose? I don't get that whole surprise thing they show on TV... Don't you see it coming? If not, why are you going to marry someone you don't know?

As far as I know, I'm pretty well engaged already. I mean we've been living together for 4 years and just bought a house... But I can't justify spending that much money on one day. I have a huge family and they would all have to come (politics). So we'll wait until our house is renovated, we put a new foundation on it, pay it all off completely, buy each of us a nice car, then maybe a bigger house and another car, and maybe a cottage and then we'll see about a wedding... :)

Good luck though. :)

May 10th, 2005, 05:33 PM
Traditional all the way baby!

Colin took me on a trip to Paris France, and proposed at a restaurant on Champ D'Elysse after we went to the observatory on the Effiel Tower!

I am very very very very very very lucky! (My uncle is a jeweler)
I got the ring of my dreams! (Colin knows my tastes very well)

I have to show off a bit here :crazy: ;) I have a single 'C' Colourless diamond its about half a carat, set in a platinum Tiffany setting. . . .
My wedding band has 22 diamonds, and 8 dark blue saphires set in a platinum 'pave' style. . . *bliss* ok, I'm done showing off. . . thanks! :p :p :p


I don't know if I could have done as good of a job as Colin. . . .I'm glad I just got to sit back and enjoy. . .


May 10th, 2005, 05:41 PM
I married the same guy twice - :o and he proposed both times. The second time we got married, we had been living together for over 9 years, but he really wanted that piece of paper. I always thought - 'if it ain't broke, don't fix it'. I think for him the piece of paper was some kind of security thing - like I wouldn't leave if we had it or something (yeah, right - if I wanted to leave, no piece of paper would stop me). I got the same engagement/wedding ring both times (it was his mother's). We just celebrated our ten year anniversary earlier this week. If we had stayed married the first time, we would've been together for 23 years.

I don't think there is anything wrong with the woman proposing. This is the...hey, what are we calling this decade? The otts? Okay, this is the otts, you go for it girl! :thumbs up

May 10th, 2005, 06:08 PM
I'm so jealous JDG. I WISH my uncle was a jeweler... I love diamonds. I bought myself a ring at Christmas and you wouldn't believe how hard it is to get people to understand that I bought me a ring. I love diamonds (I said that already) and my grandmother died and I wanted one of hers but alas, big family means in the end I got her toaster. So I bought my own inherited ring. Not expensive (student remember), but very delicate with 8 tiny diamonds on each side of a tiny clear saphire.. I so wish I knew someone in the business. I'm going to have a career in diamond buying... Not professionally of course... Sorry for the hijack, I was just a bit overwhelmed by the 22 diamonds...

***dreaming and getting mad at being a student ;) ***

May 10th, 2005, 06:38 PM
Hahaha. I don't think I have ever held a diamond in my hand. I don't own mother never had an engagement don't see the draw. I would rather a really nice black opal...maybe with a diamond in the middle....

May 10th, 2005, 07:28 PM
I think the man should ask... maybe I'm only saying that because I don't think I could ask, I don't know.

I still giggle at the way my husband asked me. We had our son before we got married and it's been sort of a joke in the family cause we 'lived in sin'... you know how it is.
He went shopping one day and got our son outta my hair for a few hours (he was a toddler and a handful :p ) Anyway, he came back and walked in the door... said Cristian pooped his diaper and I had to change him, I was thinking Oh great, he takes him out for me alone and doesn't change him? I got all huffy and laid him on the floor to change him and in his pants was the ring! (and no poop!) Everyone laughs when I tell them how he did it.... Only my husband could think of something that weird!

It's not a huge diamond or anything, hell it was bought on a taco bell salary, but I love it. The setting itself is heart shaped and so is the diamond, with tiny diamonds around the main one.

I still hope for a nice big diamond anniversary band one day.... and I hope my husband IS reading this. :)

May 10th, 2005, 07:37 PM
I think it really dpends on your roles in the relationship, and your trendiness. I am far too traditional in the proposal sense, but have no problem going against the grain for weddings.

Women ask guys/girls out nowadays, they can certainly ask someone to marry them! Even Monica on Friends was prepared to ask!!!

I do think that even if you ask he should get you a ring though...and give it to you in a special way...

May 10th, 2005, 07:45 PM
I want to be asked. I guess I am somewhat traditional, but I want to see my 6'5 man down on one knee. We have been living together for 3 years now so I guess that is common law, but with my family we need a wedding. He says we arent getting married until I am done school and started into a career which makes sense. And when it comes to rings, I want my moms. It started out as a 1/2 carat and over the 17 years they have been married has worked its way up to a beautiful 5 carat past present and future setting. I dont think that is in the forecast for Jamie, but some nice bling would be great. I am not to picky i dont think lol :p

Lucky Rescue
May 10th, 2005, 07:53 PM
My husband's proposal wasn't the most romantic! We had been living together a couple years and had bought a house, when he suddenly said, "This doesn't make any sense! I feel stupid saying "My girlfriend"! Let's get married!" So we did.:D

I LOVE diamonds too, and chose my own ring because I would be wearing it forever and wanted something I LOVED. And even after all this time, I still love it.

But if your man has excellent taste (mine didn't) let him pick it.:)

May 10th, 2005, 07:57 PM
Has your BF mentioned getting married yet? Is there a reason why you think he might take too long, or not do it at all?

Some guys/men are weird about it and have this macho thing where only a man can ask a woman....if you decide to do it, I'd want to be sure that your BF hasn't already made plans....

May 10th, 2005, 09:51 PM
I know of ONE woman that proposed. I was quite suprised, it was during a coversation, such as theone happening on the board, i asked myfriend Greg, hey, how did you propse. "i didn't" was the response I got.
Turns out, his g/f of 8 yrs finally got sick of not being married, and asked him out of the blue one day. The set the date very quickly, and were married within three months of her asking. It wasn't romantic, there wasn't a ring , but they are married!

Myself, I'd rather be asked, AFTER he got permission from my Grandfather. VERY traditional for that. Fo rights I like sapphires more than diamonds(haha, hence the nickname) and I have shown a pic of a ring I like to the man I am supposed to marry. I did it as a joke, to freak him out, and he didn't freak out. Still waiting...

Cactus Flower
May 10th, 2005, 10:19 PM
LOL Sneaky! I love the way your husband proposed!

I'm stuck on the traditional also. I've never called a man first, never asked a man to dance, never asked a man out on a date and most certainly could never ask a man to marry me. Is my strict, old-fashioned German upbringing showing yet :D ?

I don't like diamonds at all. I find them very boring. They look like a piece of glass to me. I want COLOR, something with character. No offense to the diamond-lovers out there. To each their own, right?

JDG, your proposal sounds like it was taken straight out of a movie! You know, the kind you watch, turn to your girlfriends and say "Yeah RIGHT, like that EVER happens in real life......". You are very lucky!

Being able to pick my own ring would be wonderful. I've never known a man with good taste in jewelry, even those that think they "know" me well..... (and I've been proposed to a few times, believe it or not). But then, how would I react when they propose, and give me an empty ring box (pending my choosing the ring myself)? LOL.

May 11th, 2005, 06:53 AM
I'm stuck on the traditional also. I've never called a man first, never asked a man to dance, never asked a man out on a date and most certainly could never ask a man to marry me. Is my strict, old-fashioned German upbringing showing yet :D ?

I'm the same way, and totally agree, Cactus Flower :confused: hmmm this is becoming a habit (agreeing with you LOL)!! They do say great minds think alike!! :crazy: (I had a strict european upbringing as well :D )

May 11th, 2005, 11:35 AM
I think I was just more curious what everyone else thought, or to see what everyone else did (tings, proposals, traditions)

My BF and I have basically been living together for 2.5 years, and marriage is something we have discussed and agreed on that we want to do. If he asked me right now, I would say yes no questions asked.

I would prefer to be 100% traditional and have him ask and him choose the ring. I trust him because he is a designer and has good taste. But then again, I have large joints in my fingers and some rings just don't suit me well...

Sometimes I look at rings online that I would like to buy for him. There is an artist in the UK called Sarah Sheridan ( She has some nice designs. I also like Titanium rings, but more for the wedding ring ( than the engagement. Although it would be fun to get a mens engagement ring ( in titanium and they do have some nice titanium engagement rings (

May 11th, 2005, 11:44 AM
A word on titanium rings---stay far away.

The only way to get a titanium ring off of you if you are in an accident is to cut your limb off. Sure they are tough, but too tough if you are in a situation that prevents it from sliding off. Unfortunately it cannot be cut off.

Honest jewellers will tell you this and urge you to choose platinum if you can afford it...or to stick with gold.

May 11th, 2005, 11:46 AM
I am pre-engaged which means i have a ring which is a 2c trillion cut sapphire and i love it is so pretty....Greg my boyfriend did a great job...we have discussed my engagement ring and we are going to have it made...a trillon cut sapphire in the middle and two diamonds on the side...ever since i saw Princess Dianas ring i have wanted a sapphire...i also wear my promise ring he gave me two years ago which is a huge aquamarnie it is also very man knows what he is doing!

May 11th, 2005, 11:53 AM
Yeah...I knew Titanium was basically indestructible but never thought about that. Good to know. My mom broke her finger once and had to have a ring cut off. I will keep that in mind. But they can sew your fingers back on right?? :p

I don't like gold that much, except maybe white gold, and platinum is too soft (I've very clumsy..all my silver rings have dents and bends in them from me hitting things).

Cactus Flower
May 11th, 2005, 12:04 PM
Suits me, HappyCats- I'm honored :D !

Blaze, I LOVE aquamarine. Ohhh it's so pretty!

May 11th, 2005, 12:09 PM
I love them to but you have to keep them clean or they look very bland and boyfriend is on a budget so why get a small diamond when i can get a huge sapphire or gem stone?

May 11th, 2005, 12:12 PM
You could always have him pick out the setting you really want now and insert a gemstone....then he can start saving for a really pretty diamond and insert it into the setting at a later date.

Canadian Diamonds are the best if you ask me...their clarity is sooooo magnificent!

May 11th, 2005, 12:23 PM
that is a good idea will be awhile before we get "engaged engaged" everybody asks now when i am getting married they dont understand the whole pre-engaged thing...maybe this is a southurn thing?

My moms husband got her ring from Canda he actually flew there and back to pick it up...its a 2c flawless emerald cut and it is so clear you can see right through it...its a beauty

May 11th, 2005, 12:34 PM
Myhusband proposed to me on valentines day.

as for the ring, its a very traditional engagement ring, a small solitaire, but the part that is the best is inside of it he had engraved together forever.

the size of the diamond makes no differenc e when i turned the ring around and saw the sentimate behind it, I was a blubbering mess LOL

eventually we plan on a big anniversary to renew out vows and he will get a bigger diamond set in my ring, but never will I give up my ring, I lvoe it

my wedding band is inlayed with diamonds as well, its hard to describe I should take a pic of it when i get a chance


Cactus Flower
May 11th, 2005, 12:42 PM
Blaze! I just realized that you are in North Carolina! I used to live in Wendell, Zebulon and Pilot (outside of Raleigh). Loved it! Went to Jun Lee's Tae Kwon Do academy in Knightsdale. I got so excited when I saw your location!

Sorry- don't mean to hijack.

It is true that the "customs" are a bit different down south- I can attest to that, most definitely. Charming!

May 11th, 2005, 12:52 PM
My husband proposed to me. We had been together for about 5 years and had discussed marriage on many occasions. I had even told him that I didn't care if I got an engagement ring or not. He insisted that I get one. Occassionally we would look in jewelery store windows and I would let him know which rings I liked and he would do the same. I would even joke to him about my ring size!

After a while I started to think that I might have to propose to him, which I would have done! On his birthday we decided to go out for lunch and then for a walk in a park that we had gone to many times when we first started dating. He took me to the bench where we had had our first kiss and he got down on one knee and proposed. I said yes of course! The ring was just like I had wanted. A centre diamond with stones on either side set into the white gold band. He had it custom made by a family member who is a custom jeweler. My wedding band fits into the engagement ring band and it also has diamends set into the band.

He later told me that he was going to propose to me during our vacation in Europe the following month but knew that I would find the ring before then. He had hidden it from me at his condo for a while, waiting for the perfect opportunity.

May 11th, 2005, 01:05 PM
Blaze! I just realized that you are in North Carolina! I used to live in Wendell, Zebulon and Pilot (outside of Raleigh). Loved it! Went to Jun Lee's Tae Kwon Do academy in Knightsdale. I got so excited when I saw your location!

Sorry- don't mean to hijack.

It is true that the "customs" are a bit different down south- I can attest to that, most definitely. Charming!

LOL so you know what a grit is? My mother is from Ohio and after i was born my father mother who is a southurn belle insisted i would not fully develop if i didnt eat mother was horrified not knowing what grits this day she refuse to eat them, while they are one of my favorite foods...

sorry a little off topic but i love to share that story with peoplw who know a little about the south

Cactus Flower
May 11th, 2005, 01:12 PM
(Insert southern accent):

Child, please! A'course ah know what grits are! You don think them fools out in them tabacci fields of Zebulon starved me, didja? And anyway, y'all can see ahm fully developed ;) !


Pm me, if you like, don't want to hijack this any further.....

May 11th, 2005, 01:19 PM
I see JDG has this is for her, and anyone else who has platinum...

Do you find it is too malleable? Gold is so much stronger, but you have to continuously replate it to avoid it from turning yellowy. My fear is that platimum will have too many nick marks in..and even bend out of shape...

Any input?

I guess this thread has moved into the direction of ring is this okay or is this considered hijacking too?

May 11th, 2005, 01:51 PM
I'm quite happy talking about rings!

A former co-worker of mine had platinum. It does get nicks and stuff and can get bent.

She explained it to me as this. When you hit a gold ring on a surface, small molecules of the gold actually separates and leave the surface of the ring, as they have no where to go. Same thing if you have a thin band, over many years, the band behind the finger gets smaller and smaller right from rubbing on the band (I know people whose band broke in the back as it go so thin)?

Well, the molecular structure of platinum is that when it gets hit or rubbed, it doesn't separate like gold. Instead, the platinum molecules move around to accomadate the blow. is softer and the amount of platinum you buy will always remain in the ring, but you have to get it polished often to make it look new (my co-worker had hers done yearly).

Platinum is way too expensive though...

What is a grit?

May 11th, 2005, 02:28 PM
I don't notice any 'extra' nicks to my wedding and engagment rings that I didn't get with any other ring I've owned. . . I've been married 3 years this june, and have had my engagment ring 4 years this month. . .

. . . I have my rings professionally cleaned and buffed twice a year. . . . for the rest of the time I have cleaner that I use myself at home. . . I don't notice that platinum is any weaker or more malleable than gold - but my band is actually quite thick, and perhaps that makes a difference. . .

. . . Because of their total value the cleaning is worth it for us. . .

. . .As for the price of Platinum, its really not THAT much more expensive than any sort of gold . . .its a preference. . .

. . . but then again aren't all you fab ladies worth it?? ;) :crazy: :thumbs up :p :queen: :queen:

May 11th, 2005, 02:59 PM
When ever I see platinum rings, they are usually more than double the price of the gold.

May 11th, 2005, 03:09 PM
Raingirl... I think grits is like oatmeal but 'gritty' (I believe it's made from corn and the grittiness? is from the corn not being fully ground. That's the only grits I've ever known of.

My husband used to eat grits with butter and bacon... yuck!

May 11th, 2005, 03:35 PM
Oh so it's normal then that my white gold ring is getting a yellowy tint? The jeweler told me that as long as the ring is thick enough, bending should never be a problem. Mine happened to be 18K white gold which is very soft, but I have no trouble at all with it. The palm side is at least a mm thick and the sides are about 3 mm thick. It took a lot of getting used to (I never wanted a sticky outy ring but this one fell in love with me...), but now I can sleep with the ring and all its sticky outyness and prickliness (it's VERY sharp because of how the middle saphire is set) against my face. My boyfriend got a ring when he was young and he bent it so much, but it is like a sliver of gold. It's really thin and 18K. I have been wearing it for almost 4 years now, and I haven't bent it any more than it was (it was on the verge of cracking and I haven't cracked it yet). I'm not delicate with my rings at all. I was sawing trees with both on last week.

Everything has to be cleaned though. I thought I was taking my diamonds for granted because I just didn't find them sparkly anymore but then I washed them in very diluted windex and they're sparkly again...

As for Titanium, I don't think sawing off my finger will deter me. I know that it's not rational at all, but have you tried a titanium ring on? We tried some on at Birks and it's really different. They are almost weightless. Expensive though (birks :rolleyes: ).

May 11th, 2005, 03:51 PM
Its normal for white gold to get a yellow tint to it in time.

If you want it bright white again, you will have to take it to a reputable jewelwer and have the ring replated.

May 11th, 2005, 03:54 PM
White gold has nickel in it, which I am allergic to (didn't know that until today until I was looking up info on rings!)'s either titanium, silver, platinum, or yellow gold for me.

May 11th, 2005, 10:34 PM
Here are some pictures of my ring! :D

May 11th, 2005, 10:36 PM
Here is another one!

May 11th, 2005, 10:37 PM
Here is it again lightend up!

Crazy Hippie
May 16th, 2005, 01:12 PM
All this talk about diamonds....eeek! I love the way they look..I used to work in a jewellery store and I'd try those sparkly rings on all the time when I got bored, lol. I told my b/f if he wants to buy me a ring, buy me something cheap and put that kind of dough to good use...feed a small country of hungry people! I was totally serious but don't think he'll go for it. :crazy: