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Just a tidbit on a situation I had

DogueLover
May 2nd, 2005, 01:47 PM
I wanted to ask if any of you have ever had this experience.
The other day I was in Wal Mart with my kids( they love the fish even if it is just to look at them) and was going down the dog food asile. There was an overweight not well kept young woman there looking over all the dog foods( her eye kept going to the wal mart brand VALUE BAG) and I overheard her telling her friend how she needed a good dog food for this 3 1/2 year old Golden Retriever that she was going to be "working with" because he was, in her opinion, too skinny and she wanted to "fatten him up a bit while she was watching him for her"client".
She walked over to a huge bag of puppy chow ( yes puppy food) and proceeded to try to lift it into her cart.
I usually would have walked away but I asked her why she had chosen the "puppy chow" for the dog. She got really pissy and looked at me and said...... is there something else you would suggest......
I sat back a moment and then thought hmmmmmm sounds like she is in the mood for a fight............... then I said, I just wondered why you chose to feed a full grown dog puppy formula? She went on a rant.......... almost yelling, she informed me that she was a "PROFESSIONAL" dog trainer and handler and that she fed all her dogs the very best food( puppy chow???? okay then) and that she didn`t need any advice from some non dog owner who wouldn`t know their a$$ from a hole in the ground.
I started to chuckle, then looked at her and told her that I had a very hard time believing that she was a "professional" dog trainer and wondered what her client would think of her "fattening up" their dog while she was looking after it. I told her that I was a very proud mommy of two Dogue De Bordeauxs and that I would never feed them "puppy chow" when there are so many other dog foods out there that were of much better quality.
She asked me what cross a Dogue De Bordeaux was.................. completely verifying that she was anything but a professional.......... even people who are not trainers know they are not a cross breed.
My kids looked at her like she was a crazy woman and my 4 year old pipes up and says " Excuse me ma`am, but if you don`t know what a dogue de bordeaux is have you ever seen a FRENCH MASTIFF?" She says , no, there is no such dog.
I shook my head and walked away, as my four year old says to me.......... what the heck is she talking about there is no such dog, we have 2 of them!!!!

I really feel for people who trust people like this to work with their dogs, I mean really, she weighed at least 250lbs, had an extremely unkept appearance and knew next to nothing about different dogs. I feel so sorry for that poor golden, the poor thing is going to end up having a freaking heart attack, and as for the owners, can you imagine how you would feel if you left your dog with someone and they took it upon themselves to "fatten them up for you"????? There would be a serious beating going on if that happened to me.

Sorry for the rant,,,,,,,,,,,, I just don`t get it. I should have asked her for her card/name of her business so that I could find a way to warn other people who may use her service.

Sneaky2006
May 2nd, 2005, 01:57 PM
Can I ask what her weight/appearance had to do with anything???

DogueLover
May 2nd, 2005, 02:08 PM
Sorry if that offended anyone............ I am not saying that JUST because she was 250 and had an unkept appearance that I believed that she wasn`t a professional. First impressions leave a mark. Most of the trainers I have seen and dealt with have a certain image.
I am not saying that someone who is 250 lbs cannot train dogs, I just didn`t think that this particular woman was.

levimh
May 2nd, 2005, 02:13 PM
"what the heck is she talking about there is no such dog, we have 2 of them!!!!" I like that. :)

nymph
May 2nd, 2005, 02:35 PM
Can I ask what her weight/appearance had to do with anything???

I was going to ask the same question.
People have GOT to stop preaching! Imagine someone telling YOU how to handle your dog, how would you feel?! Show a little respect here! Everyone has his/her own style in treating their pet, just like raising children. If she's not abusing the pet, leave her alone, JMO.

goldenblaze
May 2nd, 2005, 02:54 PM
Many times I've been in the pet store and people are looking at food wondering what to buy..I will speak up and give my opinion, I don't see anything wrong with that. People thank you for information most of the time. :)

DogueLover
May 2nd, 2005, 03:00 PM
If you read the post you will see that she was name calling....... all I asked was why she was feeding a full grown dog "puppy chow".

I didn`t preach to her, just found it odd that a "professional" would take it upon themselves to feed someone else`s dog because you wanted to "fatten them up".

I didn`t judge her and what she was doing, I just wondered. She was the one who went off on a tangent.

Her attitude and her demeanour make me question things. I do have people tell me what to do with my pets, but even if I am offended I do not get rude. Some people just don`t know.

Again, if my comment about the woman`s weight and appearance offended anyone, it was not my intention.

Writing4Fun
May 2nd, 2005, 03:04 PM
Many times I've been in the pet store and people are looking at food wondering what to buy..I will speak up and give my opinion, I don't see anything wrong with that. People thank you for information most of the time. :)
Same here. If I happen to be looking at the same product (be it dog food or shampoo or whatever), a lot of the time the person next to me will engage me in a conversation about that particular product. Most of the time, dog people are pretty friendly and are always willing to chat with another dog lover. Of course, there's always the exception to the rule. ;)

I agree, though, that we should try to lay off the "appearance" comments (says the fat girl :D ). I may have a lot of skin, but it's pretty thin. :p

No offense taken, Doguelover - I know I'm not the person you met in that store. :)

Prin
May 2nd, 2005, 03:07 PM
I understand what your saying and I don't take offense to it. This was a story, that happened in real life. If you all take offense to the weight, why not take offense to the fact that it was a woman too? She was describing the situation. Do you get offended by her use of "huge" in relation to the dog food too? The description of the woman is not the only description in the story.

Anyway, I would have spoken up too. And I probably would have gotten a lot nastier if she had talked to me like that... :)

STAMPDesigns
May 2nd, 2005, 03:08 PM
Dogue, you did good. Most people however, don't appreciate advice because most of the time, they claim to know everything anyway. And yes, you can tell alot about a person with how they present themselves. Glad you spoke up, although I doubt she was able to understand anything, she already knew it all! :) Ok, now send me some pics of the gorgeous babes, I need my fix :P

nymph
May 2nd, 2005, 03:12 PM
Whether or not she's a professional has nothing to do with this case. Was she looking for your advice? So why is it your business?

From your description, I highly doubt that she is a professional, but I still don't agree with the way you approached her, that was really too pushy in my opinion. Of course you could have meant well, perhaps it was the tone of your voice or maybe she was just having a bad hair day, we would not really know.

I personally like to DISCUSS about how to treat my dog, but not being TOLD to. Your thread came off really discriminatory too, as if because she's fat and untidy that she shouldn't have any say on how to treat her dog, oh well it's perhaps only a perception.

nymph
May 2nd, 2005, 03:17 PM
Dogue, you did good. Most people however, don't appreciate advice because most of the time, they claim to know everything anyway. And yes, you can tell alot about a person with how they present themselves. Glad you spoke up, although I doubt she was able to understand anything, she already knew it all! :) Ok, now send me some pics of the gorgeous babes, I need my fix :P

Do you realize how arrogant your comment sound like? Most people don't know better than you do, is that it? :rolleyes:

happycats
May 2nd, 2005, 03:21 PM
A wise person on this forum once told me, "Advice, the wise don't need it, and fools don't heed it!" ;)
I don't give it unless it's asked for! (saves alot of headaches)

nymph
May 2nd, 2005, 03:25 PM
happycats: That's a good one! LOL, can I use it as my signature? :D

Prin
May 2nd, 2005, 03:28 PM
Wow nymph, got milk? :eek:

Writing4Fun
May 2nd, 2005, 03:36 PM
I understand what your saying and I don't take offense to it. This was a story, that happened in real life. If you all take offense to the weight, why not take offense to the fact that it was a woman too? She was describing the situation. Do you get offended by her use of "huge" in relation to the dog food too? The description of the woman is not the only description in the story.
I guess those of us who are "struggling with our weight" (grappling is more like it :p ) find it interesting that people feel the need to describe a person when they're overweight. If this woman had been thin, would that have been worked into the description? I doubt it. Was she blonde, brunette? The point being that the description of "overweight" seems to be used as a derogatory remark towards this woman's character. She was an ill-tempered shrew - granted - but that had nothing to do with her size, so why bring it up?

Not trying to start a fat debate here, just needed to clarify why some of us might cringe every time that word is used. :)

DogueLover
May 2nd, 2005, 03:41 PM
I don`t understand what arrogant comment I made.
My comment about some people not knowing had to do with people who tell me what to do with my dogs. The ones that make assumptions about my dogs due to the sheer size of them............... comments like........... so what do you feed him....1/2 a cow a day??? or why don`t you put a saddle on him and ride him?? ( gee I don`t know maybe because he is a DOG not a pony).
Some people make assumptions that because C`Zarr is so big that he is a natural born killer and that a "DOG LIKE THAT" has no business being around the children that share the home with him. Comments like that bother me but I never get rude about it. Most of the time I don`t say anything.
My remarks to this woman about her being a professional and that I questioned it were only made after SHE got rude over a question. She was asking her friend and another woman in the store what they thought would fatten this dog up the fastest.
If this were her own dog I would not really care, and maybe even though it was someone else`s dog why would she want to "fatten it up for them"?
Maybe you are taking offense to something that I just don`t see, and if so I am sorry for my ignorance to it............... I could have been very rude after the way she spoke to me. You don`t seem to have any problem with the way she spoke to me and the assumptions she made about me and I wonder why it is only my comments that bother you.

On occasion, I will also tell people in the store about a product that they are looking at and wondering about, especially if I have tried it.
***** by the way has anyone tried the GOLDEN OREOS"********
I swear it is just wrong to have cookies that taste just like girl guide vanilla cookies available ALL year long!!!!

I don`t think I am the only person who does this............ it has happened with me in the grocery store, fabric store, video store, people strike up a conversation about stuff all the time, and I don`t mind when someone asks me if I have tried a product or tells me about something I am about to purchase that is crappy........... saves me the money and hassle of finding out on my own.


By the way, I have struggled with my weight all my life, and if someone describes me as fat well................. they`re right. As much as that hurts it is the truth and the only reason I take offense to it is because I allowed myself to get this way. Again sorry for the "fat comments". She probably walked away telling her friend what a stupid fat Beotch I was, and so be it.

nymph
May 2nd, 2005, 03:41 PM
Wow nymph, got milk? :eek:

Didn't get it. :confused:

chico2
May 2nd, 2005, 03:43 PM
Oh my,some people are touchy... :D Fat or skinny,Doguelover was describing her first impression of a person and unfortunately that is how we describe people,by the way they look.
Very often when I see people looking at different brands in the store,I'll help out and ask what they are looking for and recommend a food I think is good.
I am certainly not pushing my ideals on anyone,but people often just don't know,especially new dog/cat owners.
Also,I agree with DL,if this woman was planning on fattening up a grown Golden,belonging to someone else, with Puppy-Chow,she could not be much of a professional.

happycats
May 2nd, 2005, 03:44 PM
Golden oreos are the BEST :D

Prin
May 2nd, 2005, 03:44 PM
I'm by far not skinny and I get comments about it but I feel that you have to detach-- it's a description-- she wasn't graphic about it or anything. If people wanted to describe me, I'm well aware of what they might say. She did say "overweight" which is by far not the most offensive word she could have used. :eek:

mafiaprincess
May 2nd, 2005, 03:44 PM
I don't want to get flamed.. but I saw the weight having more to do with her professionalism.. I don't think I've seen a really overweight dog trainer.

To have the energy to keep any of the classes I've watched or been in going, if you were overweight when you started your career, you wouldn't be long... plus most of the ones I've met have been in doggie sports which also burns energy.

Shamrock
May 2nd, 2005, 03:46 PM
I agree with Writing4Fun.
Of course we are all judged by first impressions.
But the type of comment that refers to a persons appearance "in conjunction" with negative personality traits is a form of stereotyping.
(what can you "expect" from such a sloppy fat person?) is conveyed - NOT intentionally, Doguelover.. I understand that.

kandy
May 2nd, 2005, 03:49 PM
I think that in that situation I probably would've said something too. I would hate to leave my dog with someone and then come home and find out that the person switched the food. What if the dog had a food allergy or was on some kind of restricted diet for another medical condition?? I would've maybe asked the woman if the dog's owners knew that she was switching the food? Obviously she wasn't considering the fact that the dog would most likely suffer some stomach problems from switching the food all at once. Of course, most of the folks that I know would not leave their dog with someone they didn't trust and most of the people I know would not switch someone else's dog food without their blessing!! :confused:

STAMPDesigns
May 2nd, 2005, 03:52 PM
Nymph, arrogant or not, that's how I feel and I'm entitled to my opinion. If you didn't like it, that's not my problem nor my concern. My opinion was directed at Dogue. You totally contridicted yourself by stating my statement was arrogant, yet in your words "People have GOT to stop preaching!" Most people know alot more then me, but when I'm being told a guinea pig can fit just fine into a hamster cage or that a bird is ok chained in a backyard, then yes, I know more then them.

nymph
May 2nd, 2005, 03:54 PM
DogueLover: yes I do have a problem with her rudeness, but since you have started the "fight" for the lack of better word, I'd give her the benefit of doubt. You are missing my point here: I was not talking about whether you were right or wrong, again I highly doubt that she is a professional. I do however have a problem with people telling me what to do with MY dog when I didn't ASK for advice, you see my point here? Everyone's different in the way to treat their pet, YOUR way is not the ONLY way, even though it might debatably be the correct way.

It's great if you don't take offence in accpeting other people's advice, but acknowledge the fact that other people might. You can't expect everyone to accept your opinion, right?

Your comment of size didn't bother me that much as I've heard a lot worse things in my life. However by bringing her size and appearance into the discussion you've just hijacked your own topic, IMO.

By my arrogant comment, I was simply responding to STAMPDesigns. I don't make the assumption that "most people don't know better", that's all.

Prin
May 2nd, 2005, 03:55 PM
Didn't get it. :confused:
You just seem to need a nice cold glass of milk. :)

DogueLover
May 2nd, 2005, 03:55 PM
For Stamp and anyone else,, doesn`t he just look menacing LOL LOL LOL

Writing4Fun
May 2nd, 2005, 03:55 PM
Mafiaprincess: My agility instructor is overweight, so am I, and so are two other people in my class. I've watched many episodes of Top Dogs and have seen many overweight handlers running those courses.

Clearly, there are two views on this topic, and there always will be. It's the nature of the beast. Overweight people will always be more defensive about these types of comments. Just like people with toy breed dogs are touchy about "rat" comments and people with large breeds don't appreciate the "horse" comments. Just like how people who deal with challenged individuals hate the use of the term "retard".

I don't think any offense was meant. And I certainly don't want to argue about it. It's one of those things that, until you're in that situation, you truly don't realize how that comment can hurt.

Peace, all! :thumbs up

PS. Happycats/Nymph: I believe the saying is, "Never give advice. The wise don't need it and the fools don't heed it." :D

Writing4Fun
May 2nd, 2005, 03:57 PM
DogueLover - he's beautiful! :love:

STAMPDesigns
May 2nd, 2005, 03:57 PM
Thank you Dogue!! Too cute :)

kandy
May 2nd, 2005, 04:03 PM
Gotta love the binky!! LOL :D It's much more effective than a spiked collar for making him look mean and nasty! :p

Shamrock
May 2nd, 2005, 04:04 PM
Aww... what a beautiful sweetheart he is! :love: Great pic!

nymph
May 2nd, 2005, 04:10 PM
Prin: I don't drink milk, a glass of Cosmo might do the trick though. ;)

DogueLover: He's a beaut!

happycats
May 2nd, 2005, 04:12 PM
PS. Happycats/Nymph: I believe the saying is, "Never give advice. The wise don't need it and the fools don't heed it." :D

Thank you for letting me use that one (and correcting it) I LOVE it, it's sooo true, (nymph wants to use it as her signature) :D

nymph
May 2nd, 2005, 04:14 PM
PS. Happycats/Nymph: I believe the saying is, "Never give advice. The wise don't need it and the fools don't heed it." :D

Thanks Writing4Fun, this is a good one. :thumbs up

Prin
May 2nd, 2005, 04:18 PM
I got that in a fortune cookie last week. Seriously. I think they were trying to tell me I spend too much time here. :o

Writing4Fun
May 2nd, 2005, 04:20 PM
I got that in a fortune cookie last week. Seriously. I think they were trying to tell me I spend too much time here. :o
http://www.discodelic.netfirms.com/happy-rotfl4.gif

happycats
May 2nd, 2005, 04:21 PM
I got that in a fortune cookie last week. Seriously. I think they were trying to tell me I spend too much time here. :o

I'd miss ya if you left!! People come here specifically for advise, ,so when someone asks for it, feel free to give it!

Just remember, the advise you give may save a pets life :D

happycats
May 2nd, 2005, 04:24 PM
writing, you are crazy !!http://bestsmileys.com/silly/4.gif

CyberKitten
May 2nd, 2005, 04:24 PM
I do understand what you mean by first impressions and I think we all make judgements about people - weight, gender, age, - but whether we should use them in describing someone is another question. I myself do wonder about medical professionals of all types who are overweight - I ask myself why they would allow themselves to become overweight when they know better - but I have never actually said that to any of them unless they ask. I feel the same way about a surgeon I know who smokes!!!!

But that all said, many of these came people provide excellent advice to individuals and the surgeon in question is one of the best in his particular field of expertise. People in every field after all are human and I won't judge someone's abilities based on how they look. I am involved in a disability rights group (and a govt advicory committee on it) and while being overweight is not a disabity and is something one can do something about, (unless there is some medical issue), I hate to see anyone described by how they look and we so often do it with women more so then men for some reason.

I myself was guilty of it the other day because I was aghast at the child in front of me at a store. He was about 12 and weighed a good 150-200 lbs. Where are his parents - with this child facing a life of diabetes and a host of other medical problems, never mind the supersizing of everything. But I did not say anything to him! It was not my place - he was not my patient nor did I know him.

I do have a problem with her not knowing breeds of dogs. For me personally, those are rare breeds - and I only know one b/c of the movie Turner and Hootch but I am not involved in dog training where one should know that information. I am not sure I would have got into a debate with her but I cannot question you for doing it b/c I have been known to offer advice when it was not sought. ;) I guess I might have just assumed she had a puppy in addition to the lab she was dog sitting. Hopefully, the lab won't be with her too long and just because she does not know her dog breeds does not mean she will abuse the dogs. That would take much more info.

lilith_rizel
May 2nd, 2005, 04:51 PM
Dogue,

Both James and I argee with ya. She doesn't sound like a prfessional. I know of someone who does pro-training, and I know for a fact that pro's don't take liberty in changing their clients pet's food, especailly like this lady did. I discribed the lady, as you did to James, and he too said that most professonals would keep their apperance up, especially im public.

DogueLover
May 2nd, 2005, 05:30 PM
I was not so disturbed that she was buying the puppy chow..........what bothered me was that she said she wanted to use it to "fatten up" the client`s 3 1/2 year old golden while she was working with it.
Her weight didn`t really factor into the equation but her overall appearance( when she told me she was a "professional" and that I was a non dog owner who wouldn`t know my a$$ from a hole in the ground) and that comment really bothered me.
We all have bad days, but I mean seriously, if the image you want to portray is that of a professional, then I think she failed. I wish I had a picture of her, not because of her weight........ but her general appearance. I don`t think she was an example of a professional trainer by any stretch of the imagination.
I know that a lot of people have seen this as a "fat bashing" thread, but I am glad to see that some of you saw what I saw. It wouldn`t have mattered if she had been 80 lbs or 250 lbs she just didn`t fit the image that I would have expected when she told me she was a professional.
I am glad that you guys agree that the change of food for a client`s pet without the client`s knowledge( I don`t believe the client would have approved on "fattening up" their pet while they were away).
Maybe I was out of line, but I asked a question, I didn`t go out of my way to be rude. ( not like the non dog owner not knowing .......... comment that she made).
Thanks for the support, it is nice to know that others would have said something too and that I am not the only person who didn`t buy the "professional" status of this woman.

Joey.E.CockersMommy
May 2nd, 2005, 05:48 PM
Could it be possible the owner of the dog talked with this so called trainer about the weight of the dog. Maybe there was a budget for the dog food and puppy chow was the best they could do. Is it neccessary that we feed our dogs top quality dog food that some people cannot afford. There are so many dogs in shelters I don't think we should all have to feed our dogs the most expensive dog food I think if someone could make someone a good owner and can afford shelter, love, vet bills and a commitment to the animal then the food should be secondary. I think if someone can afford top quality pricey dog food than that is great but the fact is not everyone can. I think in the end the dog is going to remember the love he got from his owner not the dog food. I know this went off topic a bit but thats my opinion.

Prin
May 2nd, 2005, 05:54 PM
Between Eukanuba and Solid Gold, I pay $176 more a year for two big dogs. I'm a student and I find the money to do it. If it's important to you, you'll find the money. The dog may not remember the food, but he will remember the itching, the arthritis, lack of energy...

mafiaprincess
May 2nd, 2005, 06:05 PM
Even if there was a budget I pay less for nutro than I did for Iams... And now don't have the itching and dandruff and and and..

melanie
May 2nd, 2005, 06:10 PM
well being an unkept girl myself i dont agree that this description was part of the story. jsut another way that society justifies judging others you may say 'but its descriptive and sets the scene" my backside it does. im sure there is 500pound badly dressed and unkept brilliant dog trainers out there, ass well as DRs, lawyers etc..

perhaps she saw you staring at her and that put her of you in the first place.

hey, i dont ever brush my hair unless its a real occasion, i dont wear shoes or jsut wear my socks arond the streets instead, i always have dirt on my cloths somewhere, hardly ever wear new cloths or things without holes, and most assume im totally feral. which suits me fine, im not a material girl and find there is more to life than cloths and pleasing others. it really teaches you who the real ppl are in your society, those who do not judge appearances but judge your charater and morals instead.

wow that really reminds me of that sexist saying 'oh she got raped because of the way she dressed, she was asking for it'. woman and men have freedom, to look how we want without being judged, raped, harrassed or thought of as a lesser person jsut because we dont conform to what some ppl want society to be.

as far as PROFESSIONALS KEEPING UP APPEARANCES well thats pretty sad. i am a professional environmental consultant and ecologist, i have several degrees, am a hard working volunteer for the WWF and local sanctuaries, and i am very well know locally and respected. despite the fact i dont need to dress myself up like a supermodel or such to prove i have a brain, i wont be eye candy for the men just so they can call me 'professional'., for gods sake, professionalism is about attitude and action not dress, but i suppose in some commuities ppl are only judged on their looks, car, size of house, mobile phone and anything else materialistic, well thats really nice.

im glad to be me and feral, i meet true ppl, not materialistic freaks who have nothing in their lives or minds. you may say i miss out on meeting ppl, but that fine, i dont want to be associated with anyone who is like that.

and if someone was staring me out in the supermarket, then proceded to tell or even suggest to me what to feed my dog i would also absolutly freak out, i have a vet for that, i dont go there for anyones opinion or for harassment.

disclaimer-this is my opinion, may not be fact but mine and mine alone. dont go getting cranky because i expressed it when the issue arose.

Prin
May 2nd, 2005, 06:35 PM
The difference is that the dog trainer depends on her appearance, like it or not, for work because she is working in a public job. This is no way like a scientist dressing down or like a rape victim wearing skimpy clothing. There are jobs where appearance is a selling point. If you want to get work, you have to "shape up". I've worked in customer service jobs forever and appearance is everything. I used to dress for work and at the cafe I worked at, tips doubled when I was working (everyone wanted to work with me...). You give the public what they want and most people don't want a frumpy, unfit, unkempt dog trainer.

Just my opinion too.

Bearsmom
May 2nd, 2005, 06:49 PM
I have to add I'd definitely be pissed if someone looking after our dogs decided to switch their foods.

Bear is on that "walmart value brand" because it's the only dog food in existence that doesn't give him wicked hot spots. We've tried every food under the sun for him, but that's the only food that doesn't cause hot spots for him. Kaos is on Nutrience Large Breed puppy food.

PS I'm 205 lbs, but have 12 % body fat. Plus, when I head out to walmart I'd be afraid of what people think as I'm usually in track pants, sweatshirt and a ball cap.

Writing4Fun
May 2nd, 2005, 07:00 PM
Well, I had written a nice, long reply to that last comment, Prin, but then decided .... ahhhhh, skip it. Let's just say that I'm glad my trainer isn't wearing Gap and Prada when chasing dogs around the doggy daycare and picking up poo for a living. I can only imagine how much my training sessions would cost if she did! :eek:

DogueLover, you're absolutely right. Anyone who tells you that you're a non-dog owner who doesn't know her a$$ from a hole in the ground is clearly not worth your time, regardless as to what he/she looks like or is wearing.

My last comment on the subject (unless someone says something else that clearly needs a rebuttal) - I've met back-yard-breeders, some questionable breeders, and various professional dog trainers who were all very well-dressed, well-put-together, professional-looking individuals. ALL of these people CLEARLY didn't know their a$$es from a hole in the ground!! Just goes ta show, don't it... ;)

Sneaky2006
May 2nd, 2005, 08:10 PM
I didn't see anything here as 'fat bashing', but the story sounded like her weight and appearance was a point... saying it twice is hardly just setting the scene.
And yes I have a problem with pointing out the fact that she was overweight (said the other fat girl). Like it was said before, if she were thin, most likely it wouldn't have been mentioned and sorry, but it urks me.
I do have a medical issue (probably more than one) that prevents me from losing weight and makes me gain weight... and even when I lose the last pound I still won't look at overweight people with an evil eye because they should know better, professional or not... you just never know what their deal is and it's nobodys business!

DogueLover
May 2nd, 2005, 08:35 PM
I did not mean to be offensive.
My comment about people not knowing had nothing to do with weight. It had everything to do with people offering their advice to me about what to do with my dogs.
I struggle with my weight and get called fat,,,,,, I don`t take offense to it because people are just saying what they see. You eventually learn to turn it off and understand that people will do this no matter what.
The best judges I have found are children............ they are brutally honest and if a child says that you are fat it is because that is what they see. They are not being rude or spiteful, they are simply being honest. You have to learn to not let it get to you because being defensive gets us no where.
Again, I did not mean to be offensive, please accept my apology if you were offended.

Sneaky2006
May 2nd, 2005, 08:49 PM
DL, it's all good. I get stuff like that a lot, and it is hard to ignore but I do try.
I just have to speak out for the people who can't help it, yet know better, that's all.

Safyre
May 2nd, 2005, 09:52 PM
I would take offence to someone telling me what to buy for my dog as well.
The comments about her weight, should probably be stricken from the original post, and I am surprised that they have not been already. Should be stricken due to the feelings that were hurt, ther esponses that have been received. If the OP is sorry for the comments, go back an edit and make them sound a bit better.
I know when i read internet stories, I am not thinking what I look like... but when i read some story, needing to use the descriptive 'fat, unkept girl' I wonder if anyone has described me that same way today.

Dragonfly
May 2nd, 2005, 10:12 PM
Well, this has gotten a bit out of hand. Since DL has apologized more then once for unintentionally offending anyone, and yet that seems to be the focus of everyone's interest, it is time to lock this one and move on.

Please play nice ladies.