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At my wits end!!

heeler's rock!
April 29th, 2005, 08:14 PM
WARNING: KINDA LONG POST!! :o

Our 2 male cats, Jacob and Elliot, won't leave our female cat Nova alone!!! We adopted Nova from the SPCA in September, and they still continue to stalk her and pounce on her. They know she doesn't like having them around her, but they don't leave her alone. They follow her to the litter box and gang up on her when she gets out. They take a few cheap shots at her, then run because they know they're not supposed to do that! We try the spray bottle on them, the dogs chase them away, and we chase them away, but nothing works!!

She now has a fat lip from a scratch one of them gave her! She's always getting the bad end of the stick. She has scratches on her nose, and Carlos even found blood on her fur once, probably from a scratch on her chin!!!

I just don't know what to do. At this point it seems so hopeless that they'll ever get along, and I need to do what's best for Nover (Nova's nickname :o).

Is there anything more I can do?? I'm more than willing to try anything!! I love them all so much, but it seems that either Jacob and Elliot go (they're brothers so they have to go together), or Nova goes. We really don't want that.

Just a week ago we were thinking of having to rehome Jacob and Elliot due to finances when the baby comes as I was losing my job then with EI for mat leave which is next to nothing, but it looks like I'm getting a permanent job before the baby is born so we won't have to worry! We were so excited to be able to afford them with everything else, and now this!! I don't wanna get rid of any of them. Please, any help would be greatly appreciated. We love our kitties so much!! :(

happycats
April 29th, 2005, 08:33 PM
My 2 youngest (are also brothers) Boowee and Jay, are 9 years old, and have been doing the same thing to my little female Tuffy, since they were about 1 (8 years of harrassment with no end in sight) :sad: . I thought about rehoming Tuffy (a long time ago) because I fell so sorry for her, but I just couldn't (I firmly believe a pet is for life) So we just make the best of it.

We have created (safe) areas for her (putting obsticals that she can run around or behind to escape them) We always intervene, the boys know there names well, and when we shout "Boowee Jay" they both start running the other way!

It's really hard, and I really feel for her at times, but I just can't dump her, or them, they are a part of my family and I love them all :love:
It would be like getting rid of one of my kids because the other one picks on it !! Good god, I had 2 older brothers who beat the Crap out of me on a regular basis and I survived, imagine my parents re-homing me because of it :eek:

heeler's rock!
April 29th, 2005, 08:44 PM
I'm so glad we're not alone!! :love:

We too love our cats, so much, and I would never think of dumping them. When I say rehome, I mean to someone I know very well that would be willing and able to take them, or searching for the right home until I found it. No way would I ever just give them to any joe schmoe off the street, and Nova would NEVER go back to the SPCA! :o

I do feel very sorry for her, to the point where I hold her and cry! :( I feel like this is all my fault!! I had to get another cat, and now she's paying the price. I know they're thinking it's fun to bug her, but it's really hard on me to see her so scared sometimes! She's doing better by coming out more to see us, and she does growl and hiss at them, but we just don't know how to stop them from hurting her! Chasing her around is one thing, but when there's bleeding and scratches on her face, I just don't know how much is too much. Do your boys scratch and hurt your female like that? I just need to know if this is something we can curb or not. If others have managed to live with it and deal with it as best they can, then I'm willing to do that too. I was just afraid that if I let them continue this, that I would be a bad kitty mommy. I just need to know what's best for her.....I'm so lost!! :(

Lucky Rescue
April 29th, 2005, 08:50 PM
Male cats can sometimes be rotten that way.

Do you have a basement you could them in for a few days? Sometimes this seems to change the dynamics of the group and may help. Leave the female loose in the house, so only her scent will be fresh and spread all around.

If that doesn't help, try putting just one of the males in the basement for a few days, to break up the "pack" mentality they seem to have going on.

If THAT doesn't work, then you may have to rehome her for her own happiness. She could get so stressed she gets sick, or starts avoiding the litterbox.

happycats
April 29th, 2005, 08:53 PM
My guys don't draw blood that often, (they are getting older).

Don't feel bad, I second guess myself all the time, wondering if I'm a horrible person for allowing this to go on :confused:

I do the best I can, I create hidding spots and obsticle coarese for her, so she can get away from them, and I give her lots of lovings in the evening, and when she is on my lap she knows she is safe (they wouldn't dare attack her then).

I don't know if there is a right or wrong answer for this one, I just take it day by day, and hope to god i am doing the right thing.

heeler's rock!
April 29th, 2005, 09:06 PM
Thanks so much for the tips Lucky! :love:

I am totally gonna try that this weekend while hubby's home. I think I'll try putting both of them in the basement for a few nights and see if that helps. If not, I'll try locking one up to see if that helps! If that doesn't work, I'll try anything else I can before making the hardest decision to rehome....I want to do right by Nova though, which means not letting her suffer through this torment. It either ahs to get easier for her, or I have to rehome...On top of all this, my male heeler cross follows her around the house too, just fascinated with her! He's been doing that since September too. he doesn't try anything, just follows her around. She's begun putting up with it though, so it's not as big an issue.

Do you think my boys will eventually grow out of it? I'm posting a pic in a minute of Nova, and her fat lip. :( I hope it's from the little scratch there and not a growth of some sorts!

heeler's rock!
April 29th, 2005, 09:12 PM
Here's a pic of my baby Nover. I'm not sure if you can see the fat lip very well, but I'll try and get another.

twinmommy
April 29th, 2005, 09:20 PM
Hi Heeler's!!

I guess you'll se in few days if it is just a scratch or not, but if not, take a look at this URL http://www.marvistavet.com/html/body_eosinophilic_granuloma.html

a very common reason for swollen lips. There was also a thread a while back...search "eosinophilic granulomas".

And good luck with the "kitty war". ;) Wouldn't you swear that they think they own the whole house?

Off on a tangent for two secs, we had a mortage consultant come to the house yesterday and Sam just sat there with her like an old pal, first of all because she was wearing black--(Sam is WHITE :D ) and second of all, because he probably thought that HE was getting a mortage!!!! Gawd!! ;) :crazy:

heeler's rock!
April 29th, 2005, 09:23 PM
OMG!!! That's sooooo HUGE!!! Sorry! :o

Here's one I'm gonna try and make smaller of Jacob and Elliot cuddling. They're the devil in disguise I tell ya! :)

heeler's rock!
April 29th, 2005, 09:27 PM
Hey Twinmommy! Long time no talk! :)

That's too cute about your kitty! they do think they own the whole world, huh? :rolleyes: ;)

We were just looking at pics of the boys when they were babies, and I can't imagine life without them. I hope our finances keep looking up like they are now, and I hope I can get them to stop picking on Nova so much!

I also hope they take to the baby well, or that might be another thread! I'll be looking for ways to get them to accept the baby! :o

twinmommy
April 29th, 2005, 09:38 PM
Most cats are pretty freaked out with newborns. Mine would run the other way just when the babies would cry.

Cats adapt quite well, and if you are bothered by the possiblity of the cat going into the crib (a myth so I've heard...) you can put up a screen door temporarily on th baby's doorway.

How are you feeling btw?? :love:

heeler's rock!
April 29th, 2005, 09:44 PM
Yeah, I read about the screen door, so we're gonna try that and see.

I'm feeling great now! I'm 17 weeks and we find out whether we're having a boy or a girl next friday! I can't wait! :) I'm getting headaches more often though and my uterus is stretching a lot, so it's a bit uncomfortable, but good still. :D

Thanks for the link on the allergic reaction causing fat lips! I had no idea that could even happen! We recently started our oldest dog on joint powder, so maybe that's causing an allergic reaction in Nova as they drink out of the same water bowl. We're gonna try changing the water after every meal and cleaning out Red's bowl after every meal to see if that helps it. We're gonna wait a week or so and if it's still there, or not getting any better, we're gonna take her to the vet. I'm hoping it's just from the scratch and that it'll go away on it's own. :o

twinmommy
April 29th, 2005, 09:48 PM
Sometimes it's also the BOWL itself... I think the best choice is ceramic.

Glad to hear that you're feeling good :thumbs up Did you and hubby pick out any names?

CyberKitten
April 29th, 2005, 10:13 PM
They look so peacful there! Like little angels who love their sister, suuuure, lol

Actually, I have a close friend who has two kitties - both sibs from the same litter , one male, one female. They are now almost 17. And a few urs ago the female who is slightly daintier and a bit smaller had developed what looked like cysts on her fur. The vet (same vet as YY has) advised them it was because she was stressed out by her male sibling. She is the quieter of the two and he would chase her and essentially harass her. My friend gave the female some calming meds for awhile and changed their home so that she had places to hide and places where it was made known to K (the male) that these were restricted to W (the female). Now I am sure he listened well while they were at work and the kids at school <g> but in a short time, the lumps were gone and the female was happier again. They also paid her more attention (not to his detrement mind you) and when they were home, would seperate the two - it seemed that seperation made the heart grow fonder and while they have no way of knowing (short of installing a video camera) if he still harasses her during the weekday, she does seem much better. They also gave him Feliway and both kitties Rescue Remedy.

heeler's rock!
April 29th, 2005, 11:55 PM
Hmmm....I don't think it's bowl Twinmommy as she's been drinking out of it since she got here. The only change is the powder in Red's food. We'll try that first and if it doesn't work, we'll try switching bowls. :)

Cyberkitten, thanks for the tips!! :love: We'll definitely try anything, and maybe some Rescue Remedy will help her relax around the boys. I'm sure they just bug her because she hates it. We had a foster cat here who just got adopted, and she's 6. The boys never bugged her, except for the occasional bating at eachother, but never like what they do to Nova. We're pretty sure that's because Smoky (foster), loved them from the minute she got here! She'd nuzzle them, and pretty much just ignored them when they ran around. Nova freaks when they run, and hisses and growls. They can't even look at her without her growling! That get's them going and then they like bugging her. Maybe some Rescue Remedy will help her calm down and realize that they're not going to hurt her if she just calms down. Does anyone know where I might be able to get some RR in Calgary?

We're also gonna try separating them all from eachother for a little bit and see if that helps her feel safer. I got lotsa planning to do on how to get this to work!! Hopefully the bump on her lip is nothing serious, and we can help her get rid of it by relieving some of her stress. :o

CyberKitten
April 30th, 2005, 03:51 AM
Any health food store or whatever Atlantic Superstore/Loblaws is in Alberta would have it in its health/organic food secton. This place may have it. http://www.planetorganic.ca/Newsletter/PO_April2005.pdf

Lucky Rescue
April 30th, 2005, 10:00 AM
It sounds like poor Nova is being stressed on all fronts, and cats do NOT handle stress well. They can actually get sick with rhino or other illness.

The other cats and dogs do not even have to hurt her to stress her. Just the following, stalking and other harassment can do it.

If a tooth made that bump on her lip, she could easily get an abcess.

Lucky Rescue
April 30th, 2005, 10:14 AM
It sounds like poor Nova is being stressed on all fronts, and cats do NOT handle stress well. They can actually get sick with rhino or other illness.

The other cats and dogs do not even have to hurt her to stress her. Just the following, stalking and other harassment can do it.

If a tooth made that bump on her lip, she could easily get an abcess.

heeler's rock!
April 30th, 2005, 10:19 AM
I know she's stressed out, and I want to do whatever I can to reduce that stress. She's come a long way since we got her, but it's still been a struggle. I'm gonna try the rescue remedy to see if that helps her calm down. I think that if she stops being so much "fun" for the boys, maybe they'll lose interest in bugging her and she can just be left alone. We're also monitoring the bump on her lip closely, as we don't want her to get an abcess or anything. I can see a tiny scratch on her lip that I think caused the bump, but I'm not entirely sure. If it doesn't start going down in a day or so, she'll be going to the vet.

If none of this works, would you help me by letting me post her on your site Lucky? She is spayed, a year and a half old, and UTD on her shots. That would of course be my absolute last resort, but I want Nova to be safe and happy. I sometimes don't feel like she's getting that here..... :(

Lucky Rescue
April 30th, 2005, 10:59 AM
I have two sites, one in QC and one in ON, neither of which would be any help to you.:(

heeler's rock!
April 30th, 2005, 02:13 PM
Oh, no worries. I'm sure we'll do okay with this site and by talking to friends. I found a store that sells RR so I'm on my way there to pick some up in 15 mins. I really hope with that and some separation she'll do better. I'll keep everyone posted. Thanks again for all the great advice, as always! :love:

heeler's rock!
May 7th, 2005, 11:07 AM
So, we've tried rescue remedy, we've tried separating them, we've tried spraying the boys when the go to bug her, heck, I've even tried making a loud noise to spook them away from her, or getting the dogs to chase them away! Nothing's helping. Nova's even started hiding from me! So, we've made the very hard decision to try rehoming her. She's just not doing as well as she could be here. I feel awful, but I don't see any other options. I am personally screening anyone who may be interested, and charging an adoption fee of $85.00. I will post her for adoption in the pets for adoption forum. Thank you again everyone for your tips and suggestions, but I just feel if I find the right home for her, she'll thrive in a way she couldn't here. We have too much going on with all our pets, and she just can't handle the stress..... Thanks again. :o

heeler's rock!
May 7th, 2005, 11:08 AM
Oh and yes, her bump is gone and no abcesses or anything like that. She's okay now. Thanks!