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am I being selfish?

Lise
April 22nd, 2005, 09:38 AM
My oldest girl is fifteen.She's deaf,has ccd,is slowly losing vision at night and has very bad arthritis.She is on anapryl for the ccd and was on metacam for the arthrits,but she can't tolerate it any more,so we switched to giving her codeine on her really bad days when it's damp and cold.She also gets glucosamine.This winter was really hard for her and I hoped that once it got warmer she would improve.She is a little bit less stiff,but the anapryl isn't working as well and now she's beginning to lose appetite she puts her nose in her bowl and eats a few bites then pushes the food out and lies down in front of her bowl.She has always slept on the couch,but now she can't get up so she just puts her head on it if she wants up and I lift her(she's eighty pounds)She has a big bed if she wants on the floor as well.Last week she fell when she got off the couch and couldn't get up I lay on the floor with her for almost an hour,that night I decided it wasn't fair that she really had almost no quality of life.There's so many other things with her health that I don't know if I'm keeping her because she's enjoying life or I can't lose her.But I just can't bring myself to make the appointment

Eleni
April 22nd, 2005, 09:42 AM
Imagine it this way,

would that be a quality of life you would like to have??
if the answer is no then perhaps its time for her to be pts, its difficultt o do and its heartbreaking, but idrather that then my pet suffer longer then they should


I wish you luck, its a tough decision


Eleni

nymph
April 22nd, 2005, 09:50 AM
My friend was facing with the same difficult question right around Christmas 2 years ago, it was one of the hardest decisions that he had to make in his life.

I agree with Elani, ask yourself how would YOU want to be treated in her position. No I don't believe you are being selfish, any one of us would have had the same thought. Good luck!

chico2
April 22nd, 2005, 09:51 AM
Lise,you are the only one who can make that desicion for your old girl,we love them sooo much and cannot bear the thought of saying good-bye,but it comes a time when it is the only mercyful thing to do :sad:
She will be at peace and suffer no more.... :angel:

Lissa
April 22nd, 2005, 10:06 AM
I am so very sorry for the situation you know find yourself in. It is the most heartwrenching decison you will have to make but also the most honest. I think it is nearly impossible for anyone on this board to give you advice on this matter - the most I think any one of us can do is share our experience(s) with this very hard choice.
My dog was 10 when we found the tumor and we tried everything we could. She lived on for almost 2 years but then we realized that although she was enjoying life some days, the bad days were begining to outnumber the good. Nobody wanted to see her suffer or have her continue living without much of a life. I didn't want her to remember her last days full of fear and pain (she was the most nervous dog I've ever known, anthing and everything terrified her because she was abused as a puppy). Nobody expected her to live a long life but it never made any part of her decline easier. The decision to put her down was a family decision and I didn't agree or fully understand/accept it until after she was gone.
Because the decison falls to us humans, we have to do the most humane thing possible. I think most of us feel some regret or guilt at one time or another. The decision is not meant to be easy and I think we truly show just how much we love our animals by letting them go.
You know your comanion the best and when the time is right you will do the right thing.
Always remember the happy times, they will comfort you and help you make this difficult decison.
My heart goes out to you
Melissa
"Beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad but it's the middle the counts the most"

mona_b
April 22nd, 2005, 10:12 AM
I too agree with Eleni.

And I know it's a hard decision.And it's something we have had to deal with.We want to keep them as long as we can.But deep down inside we know we can't.We just need to remember that they have had a good life and are loved VERY much.

I know I had a tough time realizing this with my 13 year old GSD.When the time came for it,he looked me in the eyes as to say thank you Mom.It broke my heart.It's been 9 years and I still can't forget that look in Cujo's eyes.And I had to do it again in Sept with my other GSD.He was olny 8.

So I do know what you are going through.

Once agin,you just need to thing of how YOU would want to be treated.I know personally I wouldn't want to continue.

nymph
April 22nd, 2005, 10:14 AM
Oh Melissa, I was so touched by your story I actually have tears in my eyes.

Princesss04
April 22nd, 2005, 10:14 AM
Lise I know it is heard as no one wants to depart with their pets. But, their comes a time when we have to do what is best for them and not us. You have given this girl a wonderful life and have taken care of her time and time again. You will be in my thoughts and prayers through out the day but I think you already know what you should do. :sorry:

Freyja
April 22nd, 2005, 10:20 AM
I am so sorry for what you are going through right now.

I lost my 20 yo Gatsby cat two years ago. He was not great the last couple of years but he kept rebounding and then be okay for a while. Then he didn't rebound and while I was trying to make a decision about what to do I had this calm feeling and I knew it was time to let him go. It was like he was telling me that it was okay. I wasn't happy about it but I was a peace about it. He died at the vets in my arms. It was one of the hardest things I have done.

Look into your heart, ask your girl, you will do the right thing.
Blessings :grouphug:

Lucky Rescue
April 22nd, 2005, 10:22 AM
Oh Lise! I know - I went through exactly the same thing 3 years ago with my 14 year old dog.

He was nearly deaf, losing vision, was senile and suffering with crippling arthritis.

He too was 80 lbs, so I couldn't carry him. He would fall down the stairs and I had to stand behind him holding his back end up so he could eat.

I tried Glucosamine, Rimadyl, Metacam and finally just aspirin for his pain. I was working, and the second time I came home to find him lying on the floor, unable to get up, and howling with terror and confusion (and humiliation too I'm sure from soiling himself) I knew I couldn't let it go on any longer just because I couldn't bear to do what needed to be done.

We all share your heartbreak. :grouphug:

oh dang now I'm crying too....

carey
April 22nd, 2005, 11:18 AM
Lise - my heart goes out to you. I was in the exact same position a little over a year ago with my 16 year old Schnauzer. I just couldn't bring myself to make the decision, even though I knew in my heart she was suffering. So, I took her to the vet and allowed him to tell me what needed to be done - that way even though I was fooling myself, it was not me playing God. It was so difficult to let go of her, but they allowed me as much time as I needed. Looking back, I know she thanks me for allowing her to go peacefully. They will always remain in your heart - as a best friend should....

kandy
April 22nd, 2005, 11:44 AM
I am so sorry for you and your family. This is never an easy decision, and like the others said, one only you and your family can make. I wish you the best and may your memories comfort you. I lost two dogs in 6 weeks earlier this year (one a pup - kidney failure and the other a 12 year old corgi from heart disease). I still cry over them both. I wish I could give you a hug - but this is the best I can do - :grouphug:

Beaglemom
April 22nd, 2005, 11:59 AM
I'm so sorry! It is never an easy decision to make but one that most pet owners will have to face or have already faced.

I was 19 when I had my first experience with having my dog (whom I had since I was 3) pts. It was the hardest decision we had to make but it was the best for her. She had a stroke and the vet said that there was nothing we could do.

I feel your pain as I'm sure everyone else here does. I wish there was something we could do to help you through this.

snooks
April 22nd, 2005, 12:10 PM
I am so sorry you are faced with this decision. We had to make the decision to let Old Man Luke pass a little over a year ago. I fought with the idea, because although he was 13 1/2 we had only had him a year. But when he no longer would eat or take water, we knew we had to help him. It was so hard because we didn't know if it was too soon or not. Look in your heart. Look in her eyes. You will know when its time :sad:

Prin
April 22nd, 2005, 01:28 PM
What a sad thread this is. I really feel for you Lise. We watched several of our old doggies fade away. I think Melissa is right about the bad days outnumbering the good. You really have to weigh it out. My big Dobie was 13 when he was diagnosed with Wobbler's and he kept on and tried so hard for us. He stayed positive and you could really see it. But then one day, he started to shut down. I really wish I could have done something for him before he shut down. His breathing got really far apart and his belly was disdended. He was just lying there waiting to die. It was Christmas eve and no vets were open. We just had to make it to boxing day... He died Christmas morning. I really wish we hadn't dragged him on because we weren't ready. I actually felt more selfish thinking of putting him down when he was trying so hard. But then I think, How needy were we that a dog can't let himself go?

To this day, I still check to see if my dogs are breathing. Both are 4 and super healthy, but I spent so much time with 2 dying dogs, that I can barely see the life in them.

I wish for you to have the strength to do whatever it is that this doggy needs.
:grouphug: :grouphug:

MIA
April 22nd, 2005, 01:34 PM
Lise,

I am in a similar situation as I watch my 14 year old dog age quickly and slowly he's falling apart.... I hate it and I don't want to think of 'the day' but my hubby and I decided that when he's not happy anymore that's it and we plan on having the vet come to our home (if we have to PTS) and have him go at home not at the vet clinic.

That's the hard part about having pets, we usually have to make hard decisions. I beleive if you look deep into your heart you will know what's best for your pooch.

Hugs to you.

Karin
April 22nd, 2005, 01:55 PM
You will know when the time is right. Every day is a gift.

Lise
April 22nd, 2005, 02:14 PM
Thanks everyone you guys really helped.When I lost my two that I had before Gypsy the decision was easier,they were both very old and one had bone cancer and the others heart gave out.I decided when her good days outnumber her bad I'll let her go,we'll just take it one day.Thanks for listening and advice.

BEAR_NZ
April 24th, 2005, 01:18 AM
Lise, you poor thing. I have been in tears reading some of the responses. Having to make this decision is heartbreaking, and i have been through it before with my cat Cassie who developed Arthritis and her quality of life slowly went downhill. I cry for you now, as even the pain of contemplation is as devastating as when your special baby is not there anymore.Sending a big hug.