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Grr...I hate the super's wife

raingirl
April 6th, 2005, 10:37 AM
She is so mean!

For the gazillionith time she has to tell me, as she is cleaning the lobby, that she hates dogs, that we shouldn't have a dog, this building was supposed to be pet free, that we are one of the first people with a dog, and all she likes are little furry ones like poodles.

It is really offending me and making me feel really sad (I have a social anxiety disorder, so when I think people don't like me, it makes me very sad and gives me anxiety attacks, to the point where I will do things to avoid the situation again..and it's not like I can avoid taking Odin for a walk). My landlord isn't in her office today (she is the landlord of 2 buildings, so only here 2 or 3 days a week) but tomorrow she is and I am going to complain. That is just annoying and mean and she shouldn't be doing that.

First of all, we are no where near the first people to own a dog here...according to the landlord there are a few dogs on each floor at least, which means at least 30 dogs were here before ours!! And when we moved in the landlord told us how it was NOT a pet-free building. The landlord even keeps dog cookies in her office!!!

I think she is just bitter because he husband loves our dog. At least he is nice. maybe I should "accidentally" drop the leash and let him jump all over her!

sammiec
April 6th, 2005, 10:42 AM
Oh I'm sorry raingirl!

Is there any way that you can avoid the lobby all together? We have a back door that we take the dog through to get outside. That way you are not contributing to the mess (which they always think is the dog's fault) and you're out of her way. I don't know how I would react to someone talking to me like that either. Odin is not that big!

I hope things get better. I would make a note of it and talk to the landlord about it.

Princesss04
April 6th, 2005, 10:47 AM
I sorry Raingirl for what she said to you. Sometimes people can be so mean for no reason. I would let the dog pee on her but I guess that is not a good thing. LOL Sorry could not resist. LOL :D

raingirl
April 6th, 2005, 10:48 AM
We have a back door to get out, but it usually happens when we come in...and I have to wait for the elevator while listening to her blabber. She is the kind of person who will talk to anyone who will listen, no matter who it is, as long as they are standing there. I wish there was a way to get into the garage from outside, then I would go down there and take the parking level elevator.

BMDLuver
April 6th, 2005, 10:49 AM
I would call the actual rental office and lodge a complaint against her. She is harassing you in your home. The owner of the building decides what the rules are, not the super's wife. Unless they own the building?

happycats
April 6th, 2005, 10:50 AM
Is there any way you can talk to her, and tell her that Odin is a member of your family, and when she says things like that it really hurts you and makes you feel bad. Compare it to someone insulting your child.
Maybe she just doesn't know how much this hurts you, and if you tell her in a nice way she may relize what she is saying is wrong.

I think telling her hubby may make her worse, (like going behind her back)

Good luck and keep us posted.

GsdDiamond
April 6th, 2005, 10:53 AM
Maybe you could ask her why she insists on harrassing you? Make sure you use the words "harrassment" and "stop" and "landlord" somewhere in your speaking. Legally...if you ask someone to stop bugging you, if you're within the bounds of the law...she has to abide! If she doesn't, then you have something to bring to the landlords. Obivously the landlords are animals lovers or they wouldn't have opened up the block to animals.

Tell her how you feel and ask her to stop. If she doesn't...then let Odin pee on her!!!! :evil:

Loraxp
April 6th, 2005, 11:19 AM
In Ontario it is ILLEGAL to not allow pets in multi-housing units!! For some silly reason I can't get to the website to suppy you with specifics... but it is part of the Ontario Land Lord and Tennant Act.
Ah-haa! A virus alert just popped up on my screen - hello Worm/Padobot.I!!!.... Damn, can't heal it... argh...

I'll get back to you on further details (if possible!)! I have used this legislation as a trump card before though in buildings in T.O and Soo.

Later - I hope!

Loraxp
April 6th, 2005, 11:38 AM
Still got the damn bug... but here we go:
http://192.75.156.68/DBLaws/Statutes/English/97t24_e.htm
Section 15.
There are exceptions to this though. There are 2 instances where they can make you not keep a pet - 1) If there is someone living in close proximity that is DEATHLY allergic, or 2) if your pet is a consistant trouble maker (vicious, barker).

Knowing that you are within your rights as an Ontario citizen should help you face down this lovely lady. Perhaps do what I did - print off a copy and give one to the super and another to the manager/owner and attach a note that reads: "Seeing as you are in the business, you should be aware of the laws that govern it.". Make sure you explain what that nice woman said to you.

I know there are more websites that deal with this topic (in more detail) than the one I listed above, but it's a start.

Good luck!!

Lucky Rescue
April 6th, 2005, 11:45 AM
Agree with BMDluver. Why are you tolerating this crap? You are paying good money for your apartment and this woman has no right to speak to you this way. She does not own the building, just cleans it, and she should mind her own business. :mad:

She is the kind of person who will talk to anyone who will listen, no matter who it is, as long as they are standing there.

So don't stand and listen to her. A quick brusque, "Excuse me, I'm busy" and then walk away!

Rita
April 6th, 2005, 11:52 AM
She sounds like a real treat :eek:
You should carry a set of headphones with you so that if she is around just throw the headphones on and pretend you're listening to some really good music then maybe she won't even bother talking to you :thumbs up

SarahLynn123
April 6th, 2005, 12:02 PM
Can you dress Odin up like a poodle and make a smart ass comment when you see her about her giving your dog a chance now that he has curly hair?

Eleni
April 6th, 2005, 12:31 PM
hehe thats priceless, id love to be a fly on the wall for that one :)


Eleni

meb999
April 6th, 2005, 01:03 PM
If you have social anxiety, confrontation might not be the best idea....I like Rita's idea of headphones, that way you don't have to listen to her. Either that or stick your fingers in yours ears and scream :'LALALALALA -- I can't hear you'

raingirl
April 6th, 2005, 01:18 PM
Yeah..the earphones are more likely for me. I will still tell my landlord though.

I should buy my own "undercover poodle" shirt from my online store and put it on Odin!

raingirl
April 11th, 2005, 11:03 AM
I can't beleive this! I am so pissed off I am shaking! She almost hit my dog with her mop today!!!

I was getting my mail, and Odin was tied to me, so not able to move more than 2 feet away from me, and she comes out of the store room where her cleaning stuff is, and gets startled by him. He was just curious what is in there, but wasn't going it, not even near the door, and she comes out yelling "get that stinking dog away from me, all I do it pick up after them all and they shouldn't be allowed in the building. stupid smelly stinking dogs" and swats at him with her mop! I found out the landlord is on vacation, so I haven't complained yet, but I am in tears right now because of how bad she made me feel, and she could have hurt Odin. I am going to put this one in writing. do you think the landlord would tell her who complained?? Should I speak with other tenants to see if she did the same thing??

Lizzie
April 11th, 2005, 11:08 AM
I would definitely speak to the other tennants. The more people you have to back up your stories the better for you and for all of the pets in the building.

She can't hit your dog if he didn't do anything. She should be replaced that's for sure!

raingirl
April 11th, 2005, 11:42 AM
Does this sound ok? or is it too nice? I tried to use a lot of evil words in it.

I am becoming increasingly irritated with the cleaning lady’s (I apologize, but I have never asked her name) comments and behaviour around me when I am with my dog. On several occasions over the last few weeks, she has made insulting and rude comments directed at my dog and myself. This usually happens when we are coming back from a walk around lunchtime, and waiting for the elevator. She is usually cleaning the lobby at this time. Examples of her comments are as follows:

“dogs should not be allowed in the building”
“this building was supposed to be pet free”
“always making messes I have to clean up”

Today she upset my dog and me greatly when I was getting the mail after our walk. My dog is always attached to me for training purposes, so therefore cannot move more than 2 feet away from me. As soon as she saw my dog (who was sitting) and me she yelled, “get that stinking dog away from me” (and similar comments like the above ones) and she almost hit my dog with her mop. She really scared him by doing that, and it was extremely unacceptable of her to behave that way when my dog did absolutely nothing to her. I have heard comments from other tenants as well who have had similar problems (being blamed for messes they did not cause just because they have a dog).

My dog is in no way aggressive and would not harm anyone! He is currently half way through obedience school and doing extremely well.

I would appreciate that she be spoken to regarding these comments and behaviour. We really enjoy living here, but her comments have really made us and our new dog feel very unwelcome.

mandiez
April 11th, 2005, 11:56 AM
Ugh...i feel for you Rainy!!

I live in a basement appartment, and when i moved in i didn't have my pup at the time, then the landlord made me sign the lease stating no pets. I soon found out after that my lease was no longer leagally binding because of the "pets are allowed' section 15 blah blah. SUCKER!!! LOL So i got my pup...

Anyways...as for this "wife"...i agree...she needs to be dealt with, and it's a form of harassing...But i would try and do it differently first. Dont' nag her, or call her a "harasser." That could only make things worse and they might make u move once your contract is up. Try and avoid her...if things get worse then say something.

Remember that sometimes people just like to hear themselves talk and she's not realizing how rude she is actually being.

Good luck w/it

Mandi

Lizzie
April 11th, 2005, 11:57 AM
You said your building is pet-friendly right? And that when you signed the lease the person even mentioned how pet-friendly it was?

If so, I would suggest pointing this fact out. You moved in under the pretense that this building was accepting of furbabies. By them telling you it was pet-friendly you expected the premises, and all of its employees to be accepting too. You never imagined that the very person responsible for maintaining the lobby would be the very person who makes you and your pet feel unwelcome.

I would show compassion by noting that you would understand someone being upset if ANY dog was to bite or attack the woman, however dogs just behaving as dogs would, does not permit her inappropriate behaviour.

I would also add fuel to the fire by indicating that your dog is a rescue dog, who has perhaps never had the love of a family before--yelling at him and threatening him with a broom can be damaging to him if this is something he was forced to endure in his old life.

Lizzie
April 11th, 2005, 11:59 AM
Ugh...i feel for you Rainy!!

I live in a basement appartment, and when i moved in i didn't have my pup at the time, then the landlord made me sign the lease stating no pets. I soon found out after that my lease was no longer leagally binding because of the "pets are allowed' section 15 blah blah. SUCKER!!! LOL So i got my pup...

Anyways...as for this "wife"...i agree...she needs to be dealt with, and it's a form of harassing...But i would try and do it differently first. Dont' nag her, or call her a "harasser." That could only make things worse and they might make u move once your contract is up. Try and avoid her...if things get worse then say something.

Remember that sometimes people just like to hear themselves talk and she's not realizing how rude she is actually being.

Good luck w/it

Mandi


I think Raingirl lives in a highrise--probably managed by a large corporation of some sort....?? Is this right? Or do you rent from a husband and wife?

In our building the hubby and wives are the super's....so the maintenance people. They have absolutely nothing to do with your lease or your tennacy. It's the large corp that deals with that. With rental vacancies through the roof I wouldnt worry about getting kicked out for looking out for your harmless dog.

Dukieboy
April 11th, 2005, 01:56 PM
Sounds like a good letter Raingirl. Seal it and drop it off. I know this sounds hard, but LET IT GO. The longer you think about it the more you are allowing this woman to get under your skin. Completely ignore this woman. Don't smile, don't even look in her direction no matter what. If you do, make sure it is a dirty look. C'mon, toughin up, you have to tell yourself you don't need or want approval from strangers.

heeler's rock!
April 11th, 2005, 02:03 PM
Raingirl, I have been suffering from social anxiety and depression for years aswell, and I know where you're coming from. I HATE confrontation of any kind, and will more often than not, become complient without putting up a fight. My dogs however, are a different story. I would, without a doubt, have torn that lady a new one today if she even THOUGHT about hitting my dog. When I was diagnosed, I was told I also have depression and put on Zoloft, but I had to stop taking it once I found out I'm pregnant. I have since seen my old persona come back, and am getting more and more affraid of people in general. I hate being out of my house sometimes because I just wanna avoid situations.

I think in this case, you have to somehow come up with the strength to confront this beotch and tell her how unfair she is being. Some people think she may not realize how rude she's being, but I think she does. No person in their right mond would think that swating at a dog with a mop is not rude when the owner is right there!! Definitely talk to the landlord, and confront this woman. She may see you as a pushover, and that's why she continues to do this. Take your boyfriend with you for back up! :) Good luck, and I hope Odin's okay!! :o

kandy
April 11th, 2005, 02:52 PM
I am so sorry for you and your baby! He is so cute - I don't understand how someone could yell at him and swing a mop at him. If I lived somewhere close to you, I would come and swat her with the mop!! I liked the letter, but have you thought about warning the woman first? I know that you don't like confrontation, but I am thinking that if the woman doesn't like you or your dog now, when she gets reprimanded she will like you even less. If I was you I would give myself a pep talk and then make sure that I was in the lobby when I knew she would be there. Say something like - "I am really offended by your comments and obvious aggression towards my dog and myself. Since this is supposed to be a pet-friendly building, I would appreciate you keeping your thoughts to yourself. If I have to endure any more harrassment from you, I will formally complain to the landlord." Or you could try letting Odin poop in front of her mop closet! :evil:

Good luck! I hope you get it settled!

mesaana
April 11th, 2005, 03:24 PM
Raingirl, you don't live in Ottawa, by any chance? Because it would be my pleasure to go take Odin out with you at lunch time. I would be very happy to have a chat with that woman :evil:

Lyne

BMDLuver
April 11th, 2005, 03:31 PM
Raingirl,
That letter is fine. Don't let her get the better of you. The landlord has to keep the letter confidential but address the problems. You are completely within your right to complain. If it had been myself, she would have had that mop wrapped around her neck. Her tune should definitely change as she will lose her home otherwise. :mad:

Cactus Flower
April 11th, 2005, 10:02 PM
Well, I know how I would react if she told me that she doesn't like 'smelly stinkin dogs', except maybe poodles. I'd gasp and say "Oh...my...GAWD that is so weird, because my DOG was just telling me that she doesn't like ill mannered ugly cleaning ladies!!!!!! Except maybe supers ;) ".

But then, I'm a sarcastic lil tart sometimes.

As for the mop incident, well....let's just say I'd be less sarcastic and more proactive about things.

I can't judge you for reacting any way that you did, as I do not have any type of social anxiety, and I'm sure that you were doing all that you could to just keep it together emotionally at that moment. I think you wrote a fine letter, and wish you luck.

CyberKitten
April 11th, 2005, 10:24 PM
This is my attempt at being an editor - I apologize in advance (I am always "editing" my students' work - try teaching docs to write, lol)
I would add some things and take out others. Here are my suggestions to your letter - which sounds good thus far:


I would like to bring a very serious matter of concern to your immediate attention.

My family and I are becoming increasingly irritated with the employee your company has hired to clean the building. I apologize but I have had occasion to ask her name.

She has consistently made rude comments and exhibited very negative behaviour around me when I am with my dog. On several occasions, (I used that word above, you may want to change it - do not use same word twice) during the last few weeks, she has made insulting and highly derogatory remarks (you already used comments) directed at my dog and myself. Typically, this occurs when we are returning from a walk around lunchtime and waiting for the elevator. She is usually cleaning the lobby at this time.

Some of the examples of her comments are as follows: (Use a complete sentence in a formal letter!)

1. “dogs should not be allowed in the building”
2. “this building was supposed to be pet free”
3. “always making messes I have to clean up”

Today she significantly upset my dog and myself when I was collecting our mail after our walk. My dog is always attached to me for training purposes and thus is unable to move more than two (always spell out a number under ten) feet away from me. As soon as she saw my dog (who was sitting) and me she yelled, “get that stinking dog away from me”. She also uttered similar comments similar to those illustrated above and she almost hit my dog with her mop. She really frightened him by doing that. This was extremely unacceptable behaviour of anyone to behave towards any animal and especially when my typically well behaved dog has never and did not then do absolutely anything to her.

Other tenants have also expressed concerns (Do not use coments so often)l and have experienced and encountered similar problems with this unkind individual. For example, some have been blamed for messes they did not make simply because just because they happen to have a dog.

My dog is in no way aggressive and would not harm anyone! He is currently half way through obedience school and doing extremely well.

I would appreciate if you could address this issue with her. We really enjoy living here, but her behaviour and inappropriate and unpsetting remarks have really made our family and our new dog feel very unwelcome here.

Prin
April 11th, 2005, 10:44 PM
I can sympathize-- I get screamed at by neighbors here just for walking by. They yell at me "because I don't pick up after my dog"-- which I do. We even pick up after other people's dogs so we don't get in trouble.

The landlord across the street tried to hit Boo but missed. I don't know what would have happened to him if he had hit Boo...

All I can say is you are not wrong and you can't let this b*tch get to you. If she makes you upset, she wins. I hate letting snotheads like that win anything. Stand your ground. If she said you had a nasty kid or a disgusting boyfriend would you tolerate it? My babies are my babies and no one can even try to hurt them without consequences.

(You should hear me yelling back at the *sses that scream at me. And in French too... Bonus. :rolleyes: )

Cactus Flower
April 11th, 2005, 10:53 PM
And in French too... Bonus.


LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Caught me off guard with that one!

Prin
April 11th, 2005, 11:09 PM
Ya, I live in a part of Montreal where there are 67000 french people and 2000 english people. Gotta say, my french is getting better. Especially since everyone at our dog park is français...

I don't know if I am stereotyping badly or not but French people are a lot more emotionally expressive than english people. I respond with the same. (it's actually a good outlet...) That is one of the benefits of being surrounded by the French-- you learn not to hold back.

You just have to separate yourself from this person. You are you and she is she. Think of it as your skin being your life boundaries. Nothing can get under there that you don't let get in. Why not try it as an experiment? You don't have to yell, just stand up for yourself. I have always believed that as long as you are honest, you can't be backed into a corner.

Where do you live? We'll get a pets gang (doggy and kitty mafia) going on and go "take care of things"... lol... :p

Cactus Flower
April 11th, 2005, 11:14 PM
We'll get a pets gang (doggy and kitty mafia) going on and go "take care of things"... lol...

Uh oh......why is Raj asking me to kiss her ring? And what's that music in the background.....and are those grapes in her cheeks, or what?? LOL.

bremarie03
April 12th, 2005, 01:54 AM
I think a formal letter to the landlord is a great idea. Her behaviour is unacceptable. But I also think that citing specific dates and even times when this happens lends more weight to your case in the (likely) event that this woman denies having behaved this way. And until it's all resolved, you should document every encounter with this woman immediately after it happens, writing down EXACTLY what she says (and does, if she ever pulls the mop trick again, or something similar) before you forget the details. Documentation is everything, especially in case your landlord doesn't remedy the problem and you have to take it further. If there are any witnesses to her behaviour towards you and your dog, you could even ask them for a statement, so if it comes down to "she-said/she-said" (your word against hers) you'll have other peoples' eyewitness accounts.

Prin
April 12th, 2005, 04:47 PM
and are those grapes in her cheeks, or what??
lol lol That's so funny.

Grissom's Mom
April 13th, 2005, 08:52 PM
Raingirl, I see you are in Ontario. In Ontario, landlords cannot declare a building dog or pet-free or refuse to rent a unit because the tenant has a dog. As long as all the poeple living in the particular apartment unit agree to having a pet, then there is NOTHING the landlord can do until the dog disrupts the enjoyment or safety of the building for others. This lady is being rude and obviously doesn't understand the rules surrounding apartment living. The next time she says something, tell her to shove it up her ass. I too have lived with anxiety and I can tell 'ya, nothing made me feel better than putting a stupid person in their place. :D She's not the type of person you need acceptance from anyway. :yuck:

Schwinn
April 14th, 2005, 10:16 AM
I'd probably mention to her that my dog is a heck of alot more friendly and pleasant than she is. As for the taking a swing with a mop, I don't think I'll mention what I'd do, except to say it involve a missing mop and a twit who wouldn't be able to sit. Fortunatly for your super, you have a much cooler head than I.

meb999
April 14th, 2005, 06:56 PM
I feel for you Raingirl...I'm exactly like you, and would have reacted the same way. I get shaky and anxious in confrontation situations (and I'm studying law...go figure :rolleyes: ).

I think you're letter is great (I also like CK's comments and corrections). I don't think confronting her directly is the best solution for you, it'll only upset you more. Let your landlord take care of it, that's her job after all, right? You pay good money to live there, you shouldn't be bullied or be made to feel uncomfortable in your own home (and yes, the loby of the building IS part of your home...)

raingirl
April 14th, 2005, 09:02 PM
well, I dropped off the letter a few days ago, and haven't heard anything. I also haven't seen the devil woman. I've been kinda avoiding the lobby until after 2 pm....she's usually gone by then.

You know what sucks about it all...her husband is SOOOOO nice. He loves Odin and he is so helpful! I don't know how he puts up with her!