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Responsible Car Breeding

Shamrock
April 1st, 2005, 03:25 PM
;) Seems fitting for an April Fools Day - this from the U.K:

CAR BREEDING
It began as a misprint in a cat news posting, but now it seems that car breeding is a serious hobby.

Dear Sir,
In your last post you indicated you have an additional hobby, which is pet cars and the breeding of same! My trade is diesel mechanic, so I perked right up when I saw this! Could you please give more info on this. In particular:
Was this hobby started before or after you moved from New York to San Francisco?
Is inbreeding a problem?
What is the going price for the little cars?
Do you advocate early spaying/neutering?
Which are the pet cars you breed?
Do you sell any little cars for breeding?
What are the main registration bodies and where do you exhibit your pet cars?
Yours faithfully, Y

Dear X
I don't know if you've had a reply from Y yet, but I'd like to add a little additional info. I found out about car breeding after I responded to an advertisement saying 'Blue Peugeot Cat vandalised at Weekend'; for sale for breaking/spares". I tried breeding Daimlers, but the offspring never grew up beyond a Volkswagen Polo, probably something genetic since Polos are the cute little Munchkins of the car world .
Nowadays, of course, all my cars are neutered since it got embarrassing when my macho Ford Fiesta tried to mount every Vauxhall Nova it saw. However, a shortsighted Vauxhall Cavalier mistook my gentle, ten year old neutered Polo for a calling female and attempted to mount it at an intersection, causing large insurance bills for the Vauxhall owner and since I ended up with whiplash injuries, I recommend that car owners get their cars neutered as a safety precaution.
Most breeds don't permit outcrossing - Fords don't like you to outcross with VWs, any car of uncertain origin in the UK ends up with a 'Q' licence plate meaning questionable origin which sort of marks you as an irresponsible owner allowing indiscriminate car breeding. Also the car overpopulation problem has led to gridlocks in major cities..
Car breeding is difficult because of the gestation period (over 6 years in the case of some uncommon breeds, but smaller cars breed faster) and the space needed (not everyone has a double garage these days) and expensive (nowadays I can only afford one car which is one reason it's neutered - it doesn't get frustrated). I don't have them declawed, catalytic converters are more humane I think. Any car I sell on has already been neutered..
Feeding needs vary - mine takes unleaded, but some take premium, other prefer diesel depending on the digestive system (hereditary factor). Also, cars cannot be litter trained, they just go wherever they happen to be - either in motion or while standing in traffic. And they always suffer from gas, whatever you feed them on. Sometimes they catch prey (on the radiator grille), but I'm training mine not to as I don't like clearing up after them and find it a very distressing habit. I also hate it when they track mud into the garage..
Regards, Z

Dear X,
Do you have any specific problems in introducing a new car into the family? Jealousy, garage training, spraying etc? Any tips welcome!
At what age should a stud Volkswagen be culled from my breeding program? Or should I wait for it to drop dead in its tracks? Has anyone got a color chart for car color genetics - especially the trendy metallic colors? And do white cars suffer from hereditary deafness at all - is it linked to headlamp color?
Regards, Z

Dear X:
I got a best in show for my Toyota Corolla. It met the standard perfectly except for being so "laid back" that it didn't have power windows or door locks, but the next breeding was going to take care of that.
A few weeks ago coming home from work a mixed breed going too fast on an icy off-ramp attacked her. She will recover, but never completely. Her show career is over. She is still missing parts and they can't be cloned. The mixed breed got the worst of the damage, but for a splendid, show-stopping purebred like my corolla, even as small amount is too much ($3000 + isn't exactly small).
I hope to start breeding something in the super-mini class once I find a decent stud car to mate my baby with.