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Questions for God ... from the Dog

Writing4Fun
January 12th, 2005, 07:39 PM
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell
one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it
still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the
mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a
dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice
ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the " Chrysler
Beagle"?

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears
him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to
apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must
remember - to be a good dog.

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw
it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I
like the way they smell.

3 I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they
are tasty.

4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

5. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.. neither are Mom and Dad's laps.

6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's
driver's license and registration.

9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of
saying "hello".

11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee
table.

12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house -
not after.

13. I will not throw up in the car.

14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch
when we have company.

16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he
makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

And, finally, My last question . . .

Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?

happycats
January 12th, 2005, 07:47 PM
:crazy: that was great
:thumbs up
Thanks for making me smile :angel:

glasslass
January 12th, 2005, 10:36 PM
Really cute! (copying, pasting, emailing to my cohorts!) :D

Bugsy
January 13th, 2005, 12:53 AM
This one cracked me up: :D

6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

Sooo funny! (ditto copy/paste/send) :D