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A Dog's Point of View

heidiho
December 9th, 2004, 11:52 AM
How to be Happy

• Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
• Pure ecstasy is fresh air and the wind in your face.
• When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
• When it’s in your best interest, practice obedience.
• Let others know when they’ve invaded your territory.
• Take naps and stretch before rising.
• Run, romp and play daily.
• Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.
• Be loyal.
• Never pretend to be something you’re not.
• If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
• When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.
• Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
• On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
• When you’re happy, dance round and round and wag your entire body.
• No matter how often you’re scolded, run right back and make friends.
• Bond with your pack.
• Feel no shame about the natural fact that when you gotta go, you gotta go.

The Dog’s Dictionary

Dog Bed: Any soft, clean surface—such as the white bedspread in the guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.

Sniff: A social custom to use when you greet other dogs. Place your nose as close to the other dog’s rear end and inhale deeply. Repeat several times, or until your person makes you stop.

Deafness: A malady which affects dogs when their person wants them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly, running in the other direction, or lying down.

Thunder: A signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms. It is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly, and following at their heels.

Wastebaskets: A toy filled with paper, tissue, and old candy wrappers. When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the trash all over the house.

Sofas: Are to dogs like napkins are to people. After eating, it is polite to rub up and down the front of the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean.

Bath: A process by which the humans drench the floors, walls, and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently.

Love: A feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction. The best way you can show your love is to wag your tail. If you’re lucky, a human will love you in return.


New Year’s Resolutions

• I will refrain from chewing on the coffee table no matter how delicious it may taste.
• I will treat the food on the kitchen counter as if it belongs to my humans.
• I will just quietly listen when I hear a dog or a doorbell on TV.
• I will brush my hair before rubbing against my humans’ black wool suits.
• I will wait and let others go out the door ahead of me.
• I will lie quietly when someone comes to visit.
• I will clean my paws and face before claiming the bed pillows.
• I will keep my long tail away from table tops.
• I will treat the water bowl as a drinking dish and not a splashing pool.
• I will stay away from the toilet bowl.
• I will resist the strong urge to roll in “dead stuff.”
• I will wait until my humans open at least one eye before jumping on them as they lie in bed.
• I will put my bones and toys in my own bed instead of hiding them in the sofa.
• I will chew on my own toys and not on my humans’ expensive shoes.
• I will be quiet between the hours of 10:00 p.m. and 10:00 a.m.
• I will eat all my dog food, instead of just the choice bits and pieces.
• I will stay out of the garbage.
• I will wipe my dirty paws before coming in the house.
• I will stay off the good sofa.
• I will keep my toys from going under the sofa, the bed, and the refrigerator.
• I will keep the nose prints off the window.
• I will stay out of the cat’s food and litter box.
• I will curl up on my own bed instead of the more comfortable human bed.
• I will resist lunging out of the car window to grab the bag of hamburgers from the McDonald’s lady.
• I will pretend to really enjoy being “coochie-cooed” by a stranger.
• I will come immediately when called rather than when I feel like it.
• I will be thankful every minute of the day that I am loved, cherished, and admired by my humans!

(The above was prepared specifically for the akc.org and may not be reproduced or reprinted, in whole or in part, without prior permission. Please contact master@akc.org.)


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A Dog's Point of View
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Princesss04
December 9th, 2004, 11:58 AM
Very cute... And oh how true. LOL I have two puppies (8 mts) and we go through all those things and many more. LOL :D

glasslass
December 9th, 2004, 12:28 PM
These are G R E A T !!

Bugsy
December 9th, 2004, 01:10 PM
These had my LMAO....


The Dog’s Dictionary

Deafness: A malady which affects dogs when their person wants them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly, running in the other direction, or lying down.

New Year’s Resolutions

• I will put my bones and toys in my own bed instead of hiding them in the sofa.
• I will chew on my own toys and not on my humans’ expensive shoes.
and the refrigerator.
• I will resist lunging out of the car window to grab the bag of hamburgers from the McDonald’s lady.